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Meet the Columnist

Columnist, Sheila Moss, is humor writer from  Tennessee. She writes  a weekly human interest column about daily life and the funny things that happen to everyone.

   She has written for  the Daily News of Kingsport,   Griffin Journal, Oakridge Now, Atlanta Woman Magazine, Aberdeen Examiner, Angleton Advocate,  and Smyrna AM, a supplement of the Murfreesboro Daily News Journal. She has been published by Voyageur Press, McGraw Hill, and the good folks at Guidepost Books.  Her articles have appeared in numerous anthologies and other publications, both in print and online.

    She is a former board member and past  Editor of  the Columnists.com, website of  the National Society of Newspaper Columnists, the oldest and largest professional organization for columnists. She is the Web Editor of Southern
Humorists.com
  and  a founder of the Southern Humorists writers' organization. She is writer, editor, and webmaster of HumorColumnist.com

    To carry her weekly column in your newspaper, or to republish an article, please contact her. It's that easy. 

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The Wrong Day....
 


The Wrong Day

It has finally happened - dementia. I knew I was getting old but I didn't expect to lose my mind so soon.

I had a dental appointment the other day, my 6 months checkup. I had it on my calendar. I always write things down like that so I don't forget.

I also had received a reminder card from the dentist's office. I put it on the refrigerator so I would be sure to see it and not forget. They say people tend to forget dental appointments more than any other kind. It is psychological. We forget what we don't want to do.

The appointment was on Monday. Trouble was, my daughter had a doctor appointment on Monday and I had promised to lend her my car. How would I get to my dentist appointment?

"Honey, can you take off early Monday and take me to the dentist?" I cooed. "I suppose I could change it… but I won't be able to get another appointment in the late afternoon."

"I have something else to do Monday afternoon. Maybe I can drop you off, do my errand, and come back for you."

"That should work." I hate all the rearranging and juggling to keep medical appointments. It is okay for them to make you wait an hour after you get there, but you must be on time. And just as sure as you are a few minutes late, they will be on schedule for the first time in 20 years and pass you by.

When I arrived at the dentist, I signed in on time and was ready to go.

"Excuse me," said the hygienist, "I don't have you down for today."

I was dumbfounded. I knew it was today.

"Well, when is my appointment?" I asked.

"In two weeks."

I knew she was wrong but what could I do?

"Well, okay, I guess I will have to come back." I called Honey, "Can you come back and get me? It's the wrong day." He was at the bank and not happy about hurrying back.

"I'll be there in a few minutes."

I have to take medication one hour before an appointment. Not valium or anything, although that's not a bad idea. It is an antibiotic because I have knee implants and if infection gets in your blood… Oh, never mind. You don't want to know. Four pills of penicillin all swallowed at the same time. Yuck!

"Oh, I forgot you have to be medicated. Well, let me see; maybe I can work you in quickly."

I called Honey again. "Never mind, they are going to take me."

"I just love coming here so much I couldn't wait until it was time." I kidded with the hygienist.

She took x-rays, did her thing and then the doctor came to check me out. Naturally, he managed to find a cavity. "You will need to come back and let me take care of that. Maybe you can just come on the appointment you already have."

Everyone is a humorist.

I made a new appointment and called Honey for the third time.

When I got home, I checked the card on the refrigerator, sure I was right and they were wrong. No, they were right and it is there in writing on my refrigerator and on the old appointment card. I was so certain that I had not bothered to check.

At least when you arrive two weeks early, you can't be accused of forgetting because you did not want to go.

Next appointment is Tuesday, at 2:30. I hope I don't forget.

 


Copyright 2014 Sheila Moss
 
 



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