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Meet the Columnist

Columnist, Sheila Moss, is humor writer from  Tennessee. She writes  a weekly human interest column about daily life and the funny things that happen to everyone.

   She has written for  the Daily News of Kingsport,   Griffin Journal, Oakridge Now, Atlanta Woman Magazine, Aberdeen Examiner, Angleton Advocate,  and Smyrna AM, a supplement of the Murfreesboro Daily News Journal. She has been published by Voyageur Press, McGraw Hill, and the good folks at Guidepost Books.  Her articles have appeared in numerous anthologies and other publications, both in print and online.

    She is a former board member and past  Editor of  the Columnists.com, website of  the National Society of Newspaper Columnists, the oldest and largest professional organization for columnists. She is the Web Editor of Southern
Humorists.com
  and  a founder of the Southern Humorists writers' organization. She is writer, editor, and webmaster of HumorColumnist.com

    To carry her weekly column in your newspaper, or to republish an article, please contact her. It's that easy. 

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Things Can Always....
 


Things Can Always Get Worse!

So… a few things went wrong on your out-of-town trip? Cheer up! Things can always get worse!

Was the hotel overbooked?
Did the desk clerk lose your reservation?
Did you forget your confirmation number?

Read on… Things can always get worse!

Did you get a smoking room instead of non-smoking?
Did your suitcase come open and your underwear fall out in the lobby?
Did the bellboy put your luggage in storage instead of in your room?

So what? Things can always get worse!

Was your room on the 12th floor and the elevator out of order?
Did the key card for the room refuse to let you in?
Did your window have a perfect view of the parking lot and dumpster?

I told you… Things can always get worse!

Did the waiter hand you the menu upside down?
Did the restaurant start closing 3 minutes after you ordered?
Did your peanut butter and jelly sandwich cost $10.95 plus tip?

Are you listening? Things can always get worse!

Was the pool full of toddlers & the hot tub full of teens?
Did the people in the next room have a crying baby?
Was there no hot water in the shower?

I'm just saying…. Things can always get worse!

Did room service laugh when you asked how long it would take?
Did the TV only get three channels including those with snow?
Did your internet connection fail to connect?

Believe it… Things can always get worse!

Did it rain the entire night and leak over your bed?
Did the air conditioner quit?
Did you lose your glasses, wallet, or cell phone?

Not to worry…. Things can always get worse!

Did you run out of toilet paper, clean towels, and soap?
Did you get locked in or out of your room?
Did you have to buy a new toothbrush when yours fell into the toilet?

Truly… Things can always get worse!

Did you misplace the key to your room? More than once?
Did the doorman tell you to get out of the way?
Did the hotel maid fail to clean your room?

Believe me… Things can still get even worse!

Did your wake-up call fail to come through?
Was there banging on the walls at 4 am?
Did the maid walk in while you were dressing?

I'm not making this up… Things can always get worse!

Did the safe get stuck with your valuables inside?
Did the bellboy tell you to carry your own luggage?
Did you get dizzy in the revolving door and fall into the fountain?

It's true! Things can always get worse!

Did you get doubled billed due to seasonal rate changes?
Did the hotel refuse your credit card?
Did the valet service lose your car keys?

It's obvious… Things can always get worse!

So… What's your problem and why are you always complaining?
 If you went on a trip and none of this happened, consider yourself lucky.
And remember, before you call to complain… no matter how bad you think it was…

Things can always get worse!


Copyright 2006 Sheila Moss
 
 



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