Humor Columnist



















Meet the Columnist

Columnist, Sheila Moss, is humor writer from  Tennessee. She writes  a weekly human interest column about daily life and the funny things that happen to everyone.

   She has written for  the Daily News of Kingsport,   Griffin Journal, Oakridge Now, Atlanta Woman Magazine, Aberdeen Examiner, Angleton Advocate,  and Smyrna AM, a supplement of the Murfreesboro Daily News Journal. She has been published by Voyageur Press, McGraw Hill, and the good folks at Guidepost Books.  Her articles have appeared in numerous anthologies and other publications, both in print and online.

    She is a former board member and past  Editor of  the, website of  the National Society of Newspaper Columnists, the oldest and largest professional organization for columnists. She is the Web Editor of Southern
  and  a founder of the Southern Humorists writers' organization. She is writer, editor, and webmaster of

    To carry her weekly column in your newspaper, or to republish an article, please contact her. It's that easy. 

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Woman's Work...

A Woman's Work

Since I retired from my job, I've been a virtual whirlwind of activity. I don't know why I am in a hurry. After all, as Honey keeps reminding me, ”You can do it tomorrow.”  I think my many years of hurry and stress has become a habit and carried over to my home life. I don't know how to slow down.

I started in the kitchen by pulling everything out of the cabinets. Stuff surfaced that I thought I had thrown away years ago. "Oh my, gosh, I didn't know I still had that deviled egg dish and that old food grinder from the dark ages."  Well, I don't need it now, so I might as well get rid of it -- except it is too good to throw away, which is probably what I thought years ago when it was pushed to the back of the shelf never to see the light of day again, until now. 

Maybe I could have a garage sale. By the time I finished cleaning the kitchen and front hall closet, I had filled four large plastic bins with stuff. That is not to even mention the things that no one would buy, not even at a garage sale: rusty pans, decorative tins that popcorn came in on some holiday in the distant past, barbeque tools that have never been used. 

If I didn't use it and it didn't have some great sentimental value to me, it was gone. I closed my eyes and put white elephants in the plastic garage sale bins. So far I'm doing pretty well. I only took out one cute picture with the days of the week on it and returned it to the closet. One of these days, I'll use it. I know I will.

I actually went through the medicine cabinets and threw away all the medicine that had expired. I can't believe I've had some of it as long as I have.  But Honey's stuff is impossible. I never know if he is saving empty bottles because he plans to get a refill or because he likes to save empty bottles. 

He has promised to help me get the house organized. So far, he has not thrown away as much as a sheet of paper. This is throwing a monkey wrench into my plan. I really hate not being able to find things. If I want the scissors or a screwdriver, I want to be able to go get it without having to buy a new one because it is easier. 

"What are you going to do when you get done cleaning, mom?" asked my son. 

"I will clean the garage, and after that the attic." How's that for ambition? Actually, it is too hot now. I will have to wait until fall when the weather is cooler and the attic is not an oven. I may be a tornado of cleanliness, but I'm not crazy.

This week, it was the garage's turn for a facelift, which spilled over to yard work. I've let the grass and weeks take over. I used to try to keep things neat, but I've done nothing this summer at all except have the grass mowed. It was easy to say, "I will do it when I retire." Except now, I've retired, so what's my excuse?  The last three days have been spent weed pulling, trimming, and spraying. It looks great… at least until it all grows back. 

While I was busy organizing unseen places, I failed to keep up with the regular cleaning. Now the entire house needs a good cleaning:  windows, baseboards, ceiling fans. I think I can get to it next week as almost everything except the attic is done now. 

Boy, I am worn out. I think I need to go back to work so I can get some rest.


Copyright 2014 Sheila Moss


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