Moss, is humor writer from Tennessee. She writes a
weekly human interest column about daily life and the funny
things that happen to everyone.
She has written for the Daily News of Kingsport, Griffin Journal,
Oakridge Now, Atlanta Woman Magazine, Aberdeen Examiner, Angleton
Advocate, and Smyrna AM, a supplement of the Murfreesboro Daily News
Journal. She has been
published by Voyageur Press, McGraw Hill, and the good folks
at Guidepost Books. Her articles have appeared in
numerous anthologies and other publications, both in print and online.
She is a
former board member and past Editor of the Columnists.com, website of the National Society of Newspaper
oldest and largest professional organization
for columnists. She is the Web Editor of
Humorists.com and a founder of the Southern Humorists writers'
organization. She is writer, editor, and webmaster of HumorColumnist.com.
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Online Since 1999
||What to Wear?...
What to Wear?
we are at that silly time of the year again when it is impossible to
know what to wear. Spring is wonderful, but for the fashion-conscious
woman, it presents untold problems. While men only worry about how
fast the grass is growing and when it will need to be mowed, women
worry about whether to wear a sweater or a blouse.
Granted there are much bigger problems in the world, but it is the
nagging little day-to-day decisions that can make us crazy.
"I wore a sweater to work this morning and now I'm
sweltering," said one lady where I work while she fanned herself
with the papers she was reading.
I know the feeling. Mornings are cool, so the turtleneck sweater seems
perfectly fine, but later in the day, you wonder what in the world you
were thinking and whether you were fully awake when you dressed this
So, you try to find clothes that are "in between", neither
hot nor cold. The little summer tees don't seem warm enough and the
snug sweaters are pushed to the back of the closet. Unfortunately, I
don't seem to have many in between clothes; they are all either summer
"Layer" advised one of my sensible friends.
So, I pile on the clothes until my arms cannot bend and I am barely
able to walk. Then I spend the day taking off garment after garment as
the temperature goes higher during the day. By the end of the day, I
need a wheelbarrow to carry my clothes home. I am just not the
layering kind of person. I want to get dressed once.
The heat situation at the office doesn't help much either. In a large
building, they never seem to get the temperature quite right. After a
cold snap when the thermostat was high, we smother while waiting for a
maintenance man to come adjust it.
And about the time that it is turned down to a comfortable level, what
happens? You guessed it. It becomes cold again and we shiver and curse
the weatherman while waiting for maintenance to come turn the heat
back on. The way the sun hits the windows of the building seems to
make temperatures vary a lot as well. Mornings are shady and cool,
afternoons sunny and hot.
Meanwhile, we still have the original problem of what in the world to
wear without looking like a rag woman or a teddy bear.
I think I have finally figured it out, more or less. Medium weight
pants, neither my light summer ones with the stripes, nor the thick
ones like my corduroy favorites. Let's see, that leaves about three
pairs that I can rotate. Then there are the shirts with long sleeves
that seem to work pretty well. Top it off with a cardigan sweater and
I can pass until the sun starts doing its thing with the windows.
Coats are impossible. While it is cold enough for a coat in the
morning, I find myself carrying it on my arm in the afternoon. Time to
dig out those fleece jackets and "all weather" coats. All
weather? Now that's a term invented by the fashion industry, well
aware of the changing seasons. Nothing is "all weather." I
think it means that it will shed water as long as it isn't pouring
rain and will cut the wind, but not actually keep you warm.
Anyhow, by the time I get this between seasons thing all figured out,
it will be summer and time to get rid of jackets and sweaters and go
for light-weight skirts and short-sleeve tops. I'm ready. I'm so tired
of dealing with the "what to wear" problem every day.
Now, if I can just figure out something to put on for today, I'll be
good to go.
Copyright 2011 Sheila Moss
Nashville, TN 37219
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