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Meet the Columnist

Columnist, Sheila Moss, is humor writer from  Tennessee. She writes  a weekly human interest column about daily life and the funny things that happen to everyone.

   She has written for  the Daily News of Kingsport,   Griffin Journal, Oakridge Now, Atlanta Woman Magazine, Aberdeen Examiner, Angleton Advocate,  and Smyrna AM, a supplement of the Murfreesboro Daily News Journal. She has been published by Voyageur Press, McGraw Hill, and the good folks at Guidepost Books.  Her articles have appeared in numerous anthologies and other publications, both in print and online.

    She is a former board member and past  Editor of  the Columnists.com, website of  the National Society of Newspaper Columnists, the oldest and largest professional organization for columnists. She is the Web Editor of Southern
Humorists.com
  and  a founder of the Southern Humorists writers' organization. She is writer, editor, and webmaster of HumorColumnist.com

    To carry her weekly column in your newspaper, or to republish an article, please contact her. It's that easy. 

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Where do they come from?....
 


Where do they come from?

Where, oh, where do they all come from? I work during the week, and presumed that everyone else did too. From the looks of the Interstate in the morning going into the city, the whole world commutes to downtown.
 
Imagine my surprise the other day when I took a day off work and had to make a trip to the local Wal-Mart. Everyone will be at work, I thought. The place will be empty. I'll park at the front and run in and grab what I need in no time.
 
Wrong, wrong, oh, so wrong! The place was packed! It was almost as bad as it is on Saturday.
 
I was off work because I had a sick daughter. They can't all have sick daughters! What's their excuse? Who are these people and why are they not at work?
 
Well, I suppose some of them might be retired. That could explain the older folks that I saw. Really, it didn't seem as if I saw that many seniors, though. Who are the rest of them?
 
Could they be women that do not work outside the home? Housewives? But 50% of all women do work. Surely the entire population of the world that does not work could not have decided to come to Wal-Mart at the same time.
 
Maybe these people were on vacation? That's not likely. Why would you spend your vacation at Wal-Mart? It's not like it's DisneyWorld. 

Could they be home from work because they are sick? If you are sick, why are you not at home in bed? 
 
Who are these people?
 
I suppose not everyone in the world works a 9-5 job. Some people work shift work and are off during the day. But at least a third of the shift workers are sleeping during the day. That means only one-third of them could even think about going to Wal-Mart at that hour.
 
Maybe it is people who ARE working, or supposed to be. Maybe they have jobs flexible enough to allow them to shop while at work. Must be nice. hope they don't run into their boss or they will have plenty of time to shop -- maybe more than they want.
 
Speaking of which, I suppose some people are unemployed. I know the unemployment rate is higher than ever. Even if you are unemployed and don't have any money, I supposed you have to buy a few things. 

Some people are disabled and cannot work. I see them riding around in three-wheel carts. A few might be on welfare or in some sort of government program that provides support too. Some could be college students who are not in class all day.

Some people are self-employed and can do what they want to do.  However, unless they are buying something for the business, I still need to question their motivation for shopping instead of working.
 
Maybe they are all independently wealthy and don't have to work.  Yeah, right, and that's why they are at Wal-Mart instead of Neiman Marcus. 

Now that I think of it, someone has to be shopping during the day or else the stores would be closed. It must be an assortment of people who keep the stores almost as crammed during the day as they are on weekend.

I just had the idea that no one would be there because I am never home to see the day people, those who do not have to cram living into the weekend.

The shock of it all.
 
There is life out there while I am at work. The world goes right on without me at a rip-snorting pace. They don't know I am elsewhere slaving away and don't even miss me. They go right on living as if I do not exist. 

Come to think of it, I don't miss them either. 


Copyright 2009 Sheila Moss
 
 



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