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Meet the Columnist

Columnist, Sheila Moss, is humor writer from  Tennessee. She writes  a weekly human interest column about daily life and the funny things that happen to everyone.

   She has written for  the Daily News of Kingsport,   Griffin Journal, Oakridge Now, Atlanta Woman Magazine, Aberdeen Examiner, Angleton Advocate,  and Smyrna AM, a supplement of the Murfreesboro Daily News Journal. She has been published by Voyageur Press, McGraw Hill, and the good folks at Guidepost Books.  Her articles have appeared in numerous anthologies and other publications, both in print and online.

    She is a former board member and past  Editor of  the Columnists.com, website of  the National Society of Newspaper Columnists, the oldest and largest professional organization for columnists. She is the Web Editor of Southern
Humorists.com
  and  a founder of the Southern Humorists writers' organization. She is writer, editor, and webmaster of HumorColumnist.com

    To carry her weekly column in your newspaper, or to republish an article, please contact her. It's that easy. 

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Eat Your Veggies....
 


Eat Your Veggies

Well, the Prez came close to getting himself in trouble the other day on his Official State Visit to Mexico. Seems George W. has the same aversion to broccoli that his father was famous for. When visiting, he was taken to the ranch of President Fox of Mexico. 

Seems only natural to visit a ranch with George W. being from Texas and all. Wouldnít ya just know it? When they got there, it turned out that the "ranch" was a broccoli farm! The Salinas Valley of Mexico, so to speak. Smell of broccoli everywhere.

Astute reporters, wondering if Bush loathed broccoli as much as his dad, just had to ask. Sure enough, he replied with an off the cuff remark about preferring cauliflower. Fortunately, international relations survived the incident and so did George W. as far as Iíve heard. Guess he didnít have to eat any, just look at it Ė lots of it!

Now, personally, I can take broccoli better than cauliflower. Cauliflower is so bland you canít even taste it. It doesnít even have any color to it, all bleached white like that. None of the cabbage family is really terrific tasting, though. Heck, kids have been hiding broccoli in their milk for ages to avoid having to eat it Ė ever since they found out it was good for them. Maybe thatís why George W. likes cauliflower Ė itís easier to hide in his glass of milk.

Brussels sprouts are far worse tasting, of course. We wonít even speak of cabbage unless you are planning to make coleslaw. What is it with this aversion to vegetables? I didnít really realize it, but Iím not much of a veggie person either, I guess. Greens? Yuk! Cooked leaves! Here in the south they say weíll eat anything as long as it has enough bacon grease in it. But I wouldnít touch a pot of turnip greens with a 10-foot pole, much less a turnip. Iím just not THAT hungry.

That goes for a lot of the vegetables that people seem to be fond of. I used to belong to a group that had a social dinner every week. Seems the chef was especially proud of his zucchini squash, or maybe he was just cheap. Every week, a big pan of yellow buttered slimy stuff graced the table. I finally just rebelled and refused to try to eat it. If God want me to LIKE that stuff, he wouldnít have made me carnivorous. Iím not even gonna mention okra. What a disgusting vegetable! It even sounds nasty, "ok-raw." So vote me off the island. Who cares?

Starchy vegetables are okay Ė corn, potatoes, beans. Starch is a carbohydrate. Itís just sugar that's over the hill. Starchy vegetables are in an entirely different sort of category. They hardly count as vegetables at all in my book, nothing like those super nutritious, vitamin C, and calcium rich, broccoli spears.

Guess winding up on a broccoli farm was sort of a nightmare come true for Bush. Well, I can sympathize to a point. Please donít send me your eggplant casserole recipe that you canít-even-taste the eggplant in. If you canít taste it, then leave it out, for Peteís sake! I donít have a glass of milk big enough to hide something like that in.

Thank goodness, I do like broccoli, especially the cheese sauce!


Copyright 2001 Sheila Moss
 
 



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