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Meet the Columnist

Columnist, Sheila Moss, is humor writer from  Tennessee. She writes  a weekly human interest column about daily life and the funny things that happen to everyone.

   She has written for  the Daily News of Kingsport,   Griffin Journal, Oakridge Now, Atlanta Woman Magazine, Aberdeen Examiner, Angleton Advocate,  and Smyrna AM, a supplement of the Murfreesboro Daily News Journal. She has been published by Voyageur Press, McGraw Hill, and the good folks at Guidepost Books.  Her articles have appeared in numerous anthologies and other publications, both in print and online.

    She is a former board member and past  Editor of  the Columnists.com, website of  the National Society of Newspaper Columnists, the oldest and largest professional organization for columnists. She is the Web Editor of Southern
Humorists.com
  and  a founder of the Southern Humorists writers' organization. She is writer, editor, and webmaster of HumorColumnist.com

    To carry her weekly column in your newspaper, or to republish an article, please contact her. It's that easy. 

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Trailer Trash....
 


Blessed are the Trailer Trash

As you probably know, the Beatitudes were eight blessings given at the beginning of the Sermon on the Mount. These were beautiful and inspirational blessings, intended to overcome prejudices of the time. However, we can think of other blessings that are representative of today's needs.

One of the groups that is most stigmatized these days is southern mobile home dwellers, fondly known as "trailer trash." Since there were no mobile homes in the olden days, no specific mention was made of this sub-culture.  However, we feel that they are greatly in need of being blessed. - so we added a few blessings of our own, just to be sure that all possibilities are covered:

Blessed are those who have house trailers, "mobile homes," or "manufactured housing," for they shall be called trailer trash.

Blessed are the trailer trash, for they shall have doublewide estates in heaven.

Blessed are those in rural and remote areas, for mobile homes provide housing.

Blessed are those with bad credit, for they can get a personal property loan.

Blessed are those with doublewide units, for they paid twice the price of single wide.

Blessed are the poor, for they pay the highest loan interest rates.

Blessed are the clean of heart, for 80% own their own mobile homes instead of renting.

Blessed are those with low monthly payments, for they pay extra to rent a home site.

Blessed are those who live in singlewide units, for they go to the bathroom and meet themselves coming back.

Blessed are they who live in the southeast, for 15% of homes are manufactured housing.

Blessed are they who sit down too hard on the couch, for they may cause the house to tilt.

Blessed are they who cannot move their possessions without moving their entire house.

Blessed are those who sell at a loss, because mobile homes are not really mobile.

Blessed are they who hunger and thirst, for there is no pizza delivery in the trailer park.

Blessed are "modular" homeowners, for they are trailer trash without wheels.

Blessed are they who donít pay real estate taxes, for they pay personal property tax instead.

Blessed are they who have no back doors, for they have more space for bumper stickers.

Blessed are they who are trailer trash, for they shall be called the children of HUD.

Blessed are they who can turn on the hair blower and vacuum the entire house.

Blessed are they whose homes depreciate in value, for they will build no equity.

Blessed are those who have chassis and wheels, for they shall forever be trailer trash.

Blessed are the trailer trash, for manufactured homes are not going away.


Copyright 2004 Sheila Moss
 
 



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