Moss, is humor writer from Tennessee. She writes a
weekly human interest column about daily life and the funny
things that happen to everyone.
She has written for the Daily News of Kingsport, Griffin Journal,
Oakridge Now, Atlanta Woman Magazine, Aberdeen Examiner, Angleton
Advocate, and Smyrna AM, a supplement of the Murfreesboro Daily News
Journal. She has been
published by Voyageur Press, McGraw Hill, and the good folks
at Guidepost Books. Her articles have appeared in
numerous anthologies and other publications, both in print and online.
She is a
former board member and past Editor of the Columnists.com, website of the National Society of Newspaper
oldest and largest professional organization
for columnists. She is the Web Editor of
Humorists.com and a founder of the Southern Humorists writers'
organization. She is writer, editor, and webmaster of HumorColumnist.com.
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Online Since 1999
||Fall Forward? Fall Back?....
Forward? Fall Back?
other morning I had to get up 30 minutes earlier than usual.
Know what? It was dark that early in the morning! I was
shocked to realize that the days are getting shorter.
Until then I hadnít noticed since itís usually daylight by
the time I leave for work.
Now that Daylight Saving Time has ended, we are back on good old
standard time. We will have more daylight in the morning -
at least for a while - but afternoons will get shorter and
shorter until there is none at all.
Instead of ranting, Iíll just point out a few of the more
consequences of moving daylight in the evening to the morning:
Letís see, itís Spring forward Ö Fall back, right?
You reset all the clocks, but your biological clock doesnít
have a reset button.
Itís light in the morning, but depressingly dark by the time
you get off work. You wonder where the day went, as you sure didnít
see any of it.
You forgot to set the coffeepot timer forward, so the coffee
came on an hour early, went off an hour early, and the coffee
is cold - a thrilling discovery in the blinding light of early dawn, standard time.
You spend 15 minutes turning the microwave off and on, trying to
figure out how to set the clock. Finally you decide who
cares, microwaves donít need clocks anyhow, only timers.
You long ago gave up trying to reset the clock in your car and
are shocked to see that it has the right time - which goes to
show that we donít really need to change time to be right at
least half of the time.
You forgot to turn back the clock at 2:00 am and got to church
early. You were astonished that you were the only one
there and wonder if the world ended and you missed it.
The clock on your computer sets itself forward, niceÖ. but you
forgot and did it again. Now it looks like 8 oíclock, is
actually 7 oíclock, and feels like 6 oíclock.
Some folks arrive for work an hour early because they forgot to
fall back. Some folks arrive two hours early because they thought it is
Spring backÖFall forward. You can tell who they are
because they are the grumpiest.
You canít remember whether you changed your wristwatch so you
change it again, only to realize that you canít trust your
watch either. You have to call ďtime and temperatureĒ
to find out what time it is.
The timer is wrong on the VCR so you miss half of the movie you
were recording. Of course, you donít realize this until
youíve already watched the first half.
You should turn clocks 11 hours forward shouldnít you, instead
of one hour back? Thatís what all the clock
experts say Ė but they donít say how to get the clock to
You decide daylight saving time is actually just a plot to
confuse us by making us think we are saving energy. You are glad you donít
have to save any more energy because you donít have much left
You canít figure out why you are so tired when you got an
extra hour of sleep. Then you remember that you woke up by your
biological clock instead of the time on the digital radio alarm.
You dream of moving to Arizona and wonder if you would feel
better by not participating in this nonsense. Of course,
it could be worse. In Indiana part of the state
participates and part doesnít.
If I got some of these events backwards, donít be surprised.
It only goes to show that like everyone else Ė Iím confused!
Copyright 2004 Sheila Moss
Nashville, TN 37219
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