You might have Swine Flu if...

We've been hearing a lot in the news about a disease called swine flu. Laughter is always the best medicine for flu or any other illness.  From the funny farm, these are the symptoms: 

YOU MIGHT HAVE SWINE FLU IF. . .   

* You always pig out at food bars. 

* You got a traffic ticket for being a road hog. 

* You only go to work to bring home the bacon. 

* You call your bathtub the wallowing hole. 

* Looney Tunes offers you a movie contract. 

* You are worried about whether pork is the real white meat. 

* People think you are snooty. 

* You have a jar for bacon drippings on your dresser. 

* You keep your valuables in a lard bucket. 

* Your breath smells like bacon frying. 

* You sizzle when you suntan at the beach. 

* You are married to a male chauvinist pig. 

* You sleep like a pig in a blanket. 

* The butcher asked to take your pulse. 

* Your favorite movie is Babe. 

* Your favorite book is Olivia the Pig. 

* Barbeque restaurants make you nervous. 

* Your mother's name is Miss Piggy. 

* You keep the baby in a pigpen. 

* Your vehicle of choice is a Harley Hog. 

* You like to ride piggy-back. 

* You are developing a sizable pot-belly. 

* You believe in a high-fat diet. 

* Your hair is braided into pig tails. 

* Your favorite pass time is mud wrestling. 

* Your favorite sports team is the Razorbacks. 

* You refer to your kids as the three little pigs. 

* Jimmy Dean wants to adopt you. 

* You are exercising to get rid of your ham hocks. 

* You speak perfect Pig Latin. 

* Your fur coat has a curly tail. 

* You snort when you laugh. 

* You buy your groceries at Piggly-Wiggly. 

* You wear a ring in your nose.   

* You are living too high on the hog. 

* Your kids are named Portia and Porky. 

* Your kitchen looks like a pig sty.  

* You actually went shopping for pig in a poke. 

* You call your shoe rack the family tree. 

* You eat mash for breakfast instead of cereal. 

* You love mud pack facials. 

* You have gravy stains on the front of your clothes.  

* You refer to leftovers as pig slop.  

* You keep your money in a piggy bank. 

* Your dream is to live in hog heaven. 

* Your house is mortgaged with Frosty Morn. 

* You think of vacations as, "When pigs fly". 

* You've gone hog-wild on MySpace. 

* Your favorite quotation is "That's all folks!"