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Meet the Columnist

Columnist, Sheila Moss, is humor writer from  Tennessee. She writes  a weekly human interest column about daily life and the funny things that happen to everyone.

   She has written for  the Daily News of Kingsport,   Griffin Journal, Oakridge Now, Atlanta Woman Magazine, Aberdeen Examiner, Angleton Advocate,  and Smyrna AM, a supplement of the Murfreesboro Daily News Journal. She has been published by Voyageur Press, McGraw Hill, and the good folks at Guidepost Books.  Her articles have appeared in numerous anthologies and other publications, both in print and online.

    She is a former board member and past  Editor of  the Columnists.com, website of  the National Society of Newspaper Columnists, the oldest and largest professional organization for columnists. She is the Web Editor of Southern
Humorists.com
  and  a founder of the Southern Humorists writers' organization. She is writer, editor, and webmaster of HumorColumnist.com

    To carry her weekly column in your newspaper, or to republish an article, please contact her. It's that easy. 

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Can That Be Sunshine?....
 


Can That Be Sunshine?

In case you missed the first two parts of this series of columns, it is about my vacation, most of which was spent in a raincoat under an umbrella. I was beginning to think we should start building an ark when…

Can you believe it? The sun finally broke through and we had two glorious days of good weather on a seventeen day trip. Naturally, we wanted to do everything at once since we had not been able to do anything except slosh through the downpour.

We were at Myrtle Beach. It is sometimes called The Redneck Rivera by those who find the touristy atmosphere less than sophisticated. Indeed, the number of miniature golf courses is exceeded only by the number of bargain beachwear stores, and the number of pancake houses is exceeded only by the number of seafood restaurants.

In the short amount of time left, we decided to concentrate on things not available at home.

We took a nice walk on the boardwalk along the ocean and beautiful white sand beach and lunched at a restaurant on the pier. My sister said riding in a helicopter was on her bucket list of things to do, but her husband was not enthusiastic. She has been on balloon rides, so it didn't seem like much of a stretch to go on something as tame as a helicopter. We decided to do it. There was room for three passengers on the 'copter, which worked out well as my brother-in-law still wasn't interested. "We might see sharks," the pilot told us as we flew away down the coast. Seeing sharks from a helicopter is about as close as I wanted to get to one.

I wanted to go on a dolphin tour. We found one that looked good in the travel brochures and put the address in our GPS.  We were running late, as usual, trying to get to the port before the boat left the dock. But the destination seemed to get further and further away. The last straw was when we came to a draw bridge that was up. "It's probably letting the boat through that we are supposed to be on," Honey observed.

Not to be deterred, we decided to take a later tour. We found the location, but there was a lot of activity going on, tents being set up and such. A woman came up and asked if we were vendors. "No," I said, "We are lost." I decided to call the number on a parking lot sign for directions to the dolphin tour. However, the lady who answered said they were on the winter schedule now and there was no other tour today. An entire day of sunshine wasted on a wild goose chase, or should I say a wild dolphin chase.

We didn't want to be in the middle of the "Shrimp Festival" that they were setting up the next day, so we decided to give up on dolphins and go to a nearby state park. We walked on the beach for about 30 minutes before a black cloud moved in and it started raining again as usual. The emergency flashflood warning went off on our phones and we high tailed it out of there before any more roads washed out.

Both my sister and I had a taste for salt water taffy like we had as kids. We each bought six boxes. We really like salt water taffy. However, when we ate it, we found it left a waxy coating on the roof of your mouth. They apparently don't make salt water taffy like they used to. And between the four of us, we had 18 boxes of it. We are still getting the wax out of our teeth.

Our vacation time was up now and we were worried about getting home as we were not sure if the roads would be open closed due to roads or bridges being washed out. However, luckily the roads that were closed were not on our route and we made it back safely.

We learned one valuable lesson from our adventure -- never vacation in a disaster area. 

Read Part 1 - Our So-Called Vacation
Read Part 2 - Water, Water, Everywhere

 


Copyright 2015 Sheila Moss

 
 



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Sometimes it takes more than ordinary umbrellas to keep things dry from the pouring rain during a storm. Patio umbrellas and large market umbrellas will keep your patio furniture as dry as possible. Don't forget a sturdy umbrella stand to make sure strong winds won't blow your umbrella away.


Sheila Moss
Nashville, TN  37219
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