Moss, is humor writer from Tennessee. She writes a
weekly human interest column about daily life and the funny
things that happen to everyone.
She has written for the Daily News of Kingsport, Griffin Journal,
Oakridge Now, Atlanta Woman Magazine, Aberdeen Examiner, Angleton
Advocate, and Smyrna AM, a supplement of the Murfreesboro Daily News
Journal. She has been
published by Voyageur Press, McGraw Hill, and the good folks
at Guidepost Books. Her articles have appeared in
numerous anthologies and other publications, both in print and online.
She is a
former board member and past Editor of the Columnists.com, website of the National Society of Newspaper
oldest and largest professional organization
for columnists. She is the Web Editor of
Humorists.com and a founder of the Southern Humorists writers'
organization. She is writer, editor, and webmaster of HumorColumnist.com.
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Online Since 1999
am I always buying new luggage? I don't know, but here I go again. It
seems that I cannot keep decent luggage for some reason and every time
I go somewhere, I have to buy a suitcase. I'm going to a conference
next week, and this time is no exception.
My red luggage looked so nice when I bought it years ago, three pieces
all matching. A trip or two with airport luggage handlers playing
soccer with it and it began to crumble. The inside has pieces of
shattered plastic that I have to clean out before packing. The outside
trim leaves a trail of plastic crumbs behind me, like I'm being
followed by ants. I cannot bear the humiliation any longer.
I have a nearly new suitcase that I bought when we went to Egypt, a
carry-on size. It is purple. When I bought it, purple was the only
thing I could find on short notice that would meet the airlines rigid
specifications for size. Do the math. This is not a very large
suitcase. However, I have learned to travel light and to always buy a
As it turned out, purple was not such a bad color choice.
When hundreds of black suitcases all looking identical come tumbling
out on the carousel at the airport, my purple one is easy to spot. So,
I figured I would use the purple one again this time. I forgot that my
daughter borrowed the purple suitcase and it now belongs to her. I
agreed that she could have it, forgetting that there might be a next
time. Besides, newer luggage now has four wheels and two-wheels are
obsolete. Don't tell my daughter.
I can never seem to keep decent luggage. About the time that I
purchased a nice set of leather Samsonite years ago, luggage with
wheels came along. My no-wheels luggage was instantly obsolete. Who do
you see walking around carrying a suitcase these days -- no one --
unless it is a small tote.
After my leather luggage went the way of the dinosaur, I bought a new
black suitcase with wheels, the largest one I could find. "This
will hold everything," I thought. It did. And it weighed a ton.
Most airlines charge $25 these days to check luggage and it is much
too large to carry on. My brother-in-law finished off the big black
suitcase when he dropped it and one of the wheels broke. It still
rolls, but it wobbles from side to side.
This time my new suitcase is blue. The purple, red, and green ones
were all the wrong size. I hope blue will be different enough that I
can find it. The suitcase salesman said that business travelers want
black. Seasoned travelers have a small carry-on and take it with them.
No checking luggage, no delays, no lost luggage.
Unlike the two-wheel versions, which still require a certain amount of
balance and strain your back when you pull them through the airport,
my new suitcase is a spinner, four wheels. You can push it, pull it,
or walk beside it. And unlike the other suitcases, it has round wheels
like a ball instead of flat wheels. It's the latest thing, the luggage
salesman assured me.
Now that I've spent big bucks, I'm certain they will come out with
something even better, something indestructible that can do cartwheels
instead of merely spin, or put out an electronic signal so it can't be
lost. My little spinner will be obsolete before I can use it twice.
Suitcase designers are busy every day dreaming up new ideas.
My daughter probably has her eye on my new blue suitcase already.
Copyright 2013 Sheila Moss
Nashville, TN 37219
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