Moss, is humor writer from Tennessee. She writes a
weekly human interest column about daily life and the funny
things that happen to everyone.
She has written for the Daily News of Kingsport, Griffin Journal,
Oakridge Now, Atlanta Woman Magazine, Aberdeen Examiner, Angleton
Advocate, and Smyrna AM, a supplement of the Murfreesboro Daily News
Journal. She has been
published by Voyageur Press, McGraw Hill, and the good folks
at Guidepost Books. Her articles have appeared in
numerous anthologies and other publications, both in print and online.
She is a
former board member and past Editor of the Columnists.com, website of the National Society of Newspaper
oldest and largest professional organization
for columnists. She is the Web Editor of
Humorists.com and a founder of the Southern Humorists writers'
organization. She is writer, editor, and webmaster of HumorColumnist.com.
To carry her weekly column in your
to republish an
article, please contact her. It's that easy.
Follow her on
Follow me on Facebook
Create Your Badge
Write on my Wall
Online Since 1999
||How to Stretch Shoes....
How to Stretch
The shoes felt
fine in the store, but when I got them home, they suddenly didn't fit.
I can't understand it. They are the same size I always wear. A larger
size would be too big. They will stretch out after I wear them a few
times, I thought, but I couldn't wear them long enough to stretch
them. I found myself hobbling around the office or kicking them off
under the desk.
So, I did what any woman facing such a dilemma would do. I hid them in
the back of the closet and tried to forget about them.
Then the other day, I found the shoes. I might as well throw these
away, I thought. I never wear them. But I loved the style and they
were still nearly new. Maybe I will give it another try. It was not
long before I remembered why I discarded them in the first place. The
right shoe was biting my foot while the left shoe was pinching my big
There must be a way to stretch this leather! I refuse to throw away a
perfectly good pair of shoes.
I looked it up. "Use a hair dryer," said the article.
"Put on several pairs of socks and force your foot into the
shoes. Then warm the leather with a hair dryer to soften it and make
it stretch. If it doesn't work the first time, do it again."
Oh, the torture! I couldn't tell much difference and I was getting
tired of taking my socks and shoes off and on. What I need is a blow
torch, not a hair dryer.
I decided to try a different method. "Fill a zip-lock bag half
full of water and stuff it into the shoe. Then put the entire shoe in
the freezer. When the water freezes, it will expand and stretch the
shoe." How clever! So, I filled up a couple baggies with water.
What could go wrong?
The person who suggested this idea must have big feet as my
water-filled baggies did not fit inside my shoes. I poured water out
until it was finally small enough to fit inside. You cannot believe
how hard it is to hold a water-filled baggie in one hand while zipping
it with the other.
When I finished cleaning up the mess, I stuffed the baggies inside the
shoes and put them in the freezer. Wonder how long it will take the
chunk of ice to melt when they are done? I only hope no one finds them
and cooks them for dinner.
Once again, there was not much difference. Back to the drawing board.
The rest of the suggestions didn't sound very practical. Who wants to
stuff shoes with wet newspapers or pour grain inside a shoe and wet it
to make it expand? I wanted to stretch shoes, not make breakfast.
Then I found, "Spray them with stretching spray." Why didn't
someone tell me about this before? Where can I get stretching spray?
Available at most shoe supply retailers, it says. What is that? Where
I live, you get it at Walmart or you don't get it.
If I can find the stuff, thought, I will try it. Stretching the shoes
has become an obsession. I can't let a pair of ill-fitting shoes
defeat me, can I? I only hope they do not go out of style before I can
I found the stupid spray after driving all over the stupid town. I
sprayed the stupid shoes and wore them with a pair of thick socks. It
worked! In fact it worked too well. Now the stupid shoes are so big I
can't keep them on my stupid feet.
Wonder if there is such a thing as shrinking spray?
I think I will do what any woman would do when facing such a dilemma,
hide them in the back of the closet.
Copyright 2013 Sheila Moss
Nashville, TN 37219
$5.00 + $4 shipping
Buy it now!
$5.00 + shipping