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Meet the Columnist

Columnist, Sheila Moss, is humor writer from  Tennessee. She writes  a weekly human interest column about daily life and the funny things that happen to everyone.

   She has written for  the Daily News of Kingsport,   Griffin Journal, Oakridge Now, Atlanta Woman Magazine, Aberdeen Examiner, Angleton Advocate,  and Smyrna AM, a supplement of the Murfreesboro Daily News Journal. She has been published by Voyageur Press, McGraw Hill, and the good folks at Guidepost Books.  Her articles have appeared in numerous anthologies and other publications, both in print and online.

    She is a former board member and past  Editor of  the Columnists.com, website of  the National Society of Newspaper Columnists, the oldest and largest professional organization for columnists. She is the Web Editor of Southern
Humorists.com
  and  a founder of the Southern Humorists writers' organization. She is writer, editor, and webmaster of HumorColumnist.com

    To carry her weekly column in your newspaper, or to republish an article, please contact her. It's that easy. 

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You Know It's Spring When....
 


You Know It's Spring When...

The flowers are blooming, the birds are singing, could it be Spring? Spring, that glorious time when we put the cold and chills of winter behind us and celebrate the beginning of a new season. We feel a surge of extra energy and watch for the parade of blossoms, suddenly wanting to be outside to soak in the renewal of life

Here is the check list to be sure you are reading the signs right and itís not simply wishful thinking:

"You Know That Itís Spring When...."

Your heat is too hot, but your air conditioner is too cold.

You leave the office at lunch and donít want go back.    

You want to spend time alone watching the grass grow.

You find yourself obsessively counting robins.

You canít concentrate because you are busy daydreaming.

You feel a sudden uncontrollable urge to clean your closet.

You start sneezing at the mere mention of pollen.

You remember how it feels to be in love.

You feel like jogging around the block Ė until you try it.

You go for a drive in the car just to open the sunroof.

You have a craving for fresh strawberry shortcake.

You decide to wash and wax the car - at home - by hand..

The birds are building a nest in your mailbox.

You wonder if the lawn mower will start, and hope it doesnít.

You leave the windows wide open just to smell the fresh breeze.

Itís raining outside and your umbrella is strayed, lost, or stolen.

You splash in the rain puddles and hope no one sees you.

You notice the "for sale" signs are blooming faster than daffodils.

You find yourself wishing you knew how to whistle.

You even like dandelions Ė almost.

You wonder why we have those other seasons anyhow.

You visit the local lawn and garden shop just to browse.

You come home with fertilizer, tomato plants, and a garden hose.

You buy new lawn furniture even though you donít need it.

You wonder how to cure spring fever and then decide you donít want to.

SCORING:

20 or above YES Ė
What are you waiting for? Start planting flowers and gas up the mower
.
15 to 20 yes - Clean the garage and find your fishing pole. It wonít be long!

10 to 15 yes - Stock up on allergy meds and read the seed catalogs.

Below 10 yes Ė
Salt down the driveway and buy a new jacket. That should bring it on faster than washing a car brings rain.

AUTHOR'S NOTE: Although Spring Fever is highly contagious, it is not long
lasting. There is a timeless remedy that never fails to cure it. Itís
called Summer.


Copyright 2004 Sheila Moss
 
 



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