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Meet the Columnist

Columnist, Sheila Moss, is humor writer from  Tennessee. She writes  a weekly human interest column about daily life and the funny things that happen to everyone.

   She has written for  the Daily News of Kingsport,   Griffin Journal, Oakridge Now, Atlanta Woman Magazine, Aberdeen Examiner, Angleton Advocate,  and Smyrna AM, a supplement of the Murfreesboro Daily News Journal. She has been published by Voyageur Press, McGraw Hill, and the good folks at Guidepost Books.  Her articles have appeared in numerous anthologies and other publications, both in print and online.

    She is a former board member and past  Editor of  the Columnists.com, website of  the National Society of Newspaper Columnists, the oldest and largest professional organization for columnists. She is the Web Editor of Southern
Humorists.com
  and  a founder of the Southern Humorists writers' organization. She is writer, editor, and webmaster of HumorColumnist.com

    To carry her weekly column in your newspaper, or to republish an article, please contact her. It's that easy. 

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So-Called Vacation....
 


Our So-Called Vacation

"We only came for the flood," Honey said when someone asked if we were on vacation. It did seem that way since it had rained for 10 days straight, every day since our vacation began. It seems there was a low pressure center stuck on the mountains.

Bad luck plagued us and it seemed from the very beginning that we were not meant to have a vacation. First, one of the cats was sick. I thought maybe I could get a pet sitter, but that didn't work out when the vet said she needed to stay at the animal hospital. So, what to do with my other cat? Guess I would board her. That took care of the cats -- for a price. Dollars were flying out the window.

Honey made a reservation for the dog to stay with a sitter. He had visited for their "meet and greet" and paid the fee to Rover.com, then had trouble contacting her. Finally, he contacted the agency to resolve the problem. However, after we were already in North Carolina, Rover.com called to say the sitter was sick and in the hospital and they were finding another one for us.

Honey and I both had car trouble the week prior to leaving on vacation. My car quit dead when I was on the way to a doctor appointment, and I had to get it towed. Honey's car acted up on the Interstate. He barely made it to the service department. Then they could not find the problem. Some of the places in the mountains are very desolate and cell phones even don't work. We were afraid of being stranded if the car quit again and decided to rent a car for the trip.

Then the rain started.

I had been worried about my flowers dying for lack of water while we were gone. I should have worried about them drowning. Anyhow, in spite of pet problems, car problems, rain, fog, and a witch's curse, we managed to make it to our destination in the mountains of North Carolina.

We were traveling with my sister and her husband. She wanted to revisit places we had seen when we were kids. We managed to squeeze in visits to Grandfather Mountain and Blowing Rock between rain storms. Going up the steep hairpin curves of Grandfather, I had to wonder why I thought it was a good idea, but the brakes held out and I lived to tell the story. I wanted to see a historic general store that was nearby, but we looked and looked in the pouring rain and couldn't find it. What we found instead was a back road with curves that made the curves on Grandfather Mountain look easy.

We planned to go to the National Storytelling Festival, which was in the area but not close enough to drive every day from our condo. The only place nearby with vacancies was a Motel 6. Need I say more? After washing my hair and taking a shower in cold water, I decided I would rather be dirty than do it again. The Festival is held outside, in tents and it continued to rain, and rain again, and rain some more. We sloshed our way to the closest tent, and endured our bad seats in the cold and damp weather.

After two days of Festival, we decided to abandon ship and go to Myrtle Beach, another place we remembered from childhood.  On the TV weather, however, we heard that a hurricane was threatening the area. We knew it was a hurricane season, but what are the chances that one would come the very week we are there? The chances were 100%, but at the time, we thought, How much worse can it be?

This vacation was becoming more of a comedy disaster than a getaway. I had to wonder," Are we having fun yet?"



Copyright 2015 Sheila Moss

 
 



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Sometimes it takes more than ordinary umbrellas to keep things dry from the pouring rain during a storm. Patio umbrellas and large market umbrellas will keep your patio furniture as dry as possible. Don't forget a sturdy umbrella stand to make sure strong winds won't blow your umbrella away.


Sheila Moss
Nashville, TN  37219
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