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Meet the Columnist

Columnist, Sheila Moss, is humor writer from  Tennessee. She writes  a weekly human interest column about daily life and the funny things that happen to everyone.

   She has written for  the Daily News of Kingsport,   Griffin Journal, Oakridge Now, Atlanta Woman Magazine, Aberdeen Examiner, Angleton Advocate,  and Smyrna AM, a supplement of the Murfreesboro Daily News Journal. She has been published by Voyageur Press, McGraw Hill, and the good folks at Guidepost Books.  Her articles have appeared in numerous anthologies and other publications, both in print and online.

    She is a former board member and past  Editor of  the Columnists.com, website of  the National Society of Newspaper Columnists, the oldest and largest professional organization for columnists. She is the Web Editor of Southern
Humorists.com
  and  a founder of the Southern Humorists writers' organization. She is writer, editor, and webmaster of HumorColumnist.com

    To carry her weekly column in your newspaper, or to republish an article, please contact her. It's that easy. 

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Snowed In....
   

Snowed In

The weather people promised us 5 to 6 inches of snow. It wasn't as if we didn't know. But we so seldom get snow that we don't really believe until we see it falling from the sky. Instead of snow, it came as sleet and ice. 

I had plenty of bread, milk and toilet paper - the staples of southerners when snow is predicted - so I wasn't really too worried. Also, the storm was coming on a holiday when many things would be closed. How convenient. 

Day 1 - By spending a lot of time looking out the window at the ice-covered trees and sagging power lines, and watching the weather news on TV, we got by. At least we still had electricity, which was better than the thousands who did not. 

Thank goodness, I had remembered to buy cat food. Nothing is worse than being cooped up with a couple of hungry, yowling cats. My honey was off work for the holiday, and my son was home with my granddaughter as schools were closed. We had a full house. 

Day 2 The walls were starting to close in, but the weather showed no mercy. We were able to stay in touch with the outside world on the computer. A State of Emergency was declared by the Governor. Boy, this house is really small when you can't go out. It feels like one of those tiny minimal houses that you read about on the Internet. 

I had an appointment to get income taxes done, but no tax return is worth wrecking your car and getting injured. We continued to squeeze past each other in the shrinking house. The pipes were not frozen, so we had hot water. We still had heat too. The only thing we didn't have was elbow room. I was starting to feel a little claustrophobic. 

Day 3 Will this stuff never melt? The schools gave up and closed for the rest of the week as the buses couldn't get through to pick the kids up. By now I felt like Alice in Wonderland, too large for the house with my head, arms and legs sticking out windows. I think I am going insane, I thought, as I stumbled over the dog and knocked a cat off the table. 

A loud boom shook the house. I thought the roof had caved in, but checking inside and outside, we couldn't find anything wrong. We found out later it was an ice quake caused when underground water freezes creating pressure in the earth. Who ever heard of such a thing? 

Day 4 - Some of the ice was melting. The sunshine was warm at the end of the tunnel. I wanted to take my car to the shop, but had waited until the roads were dry enough to drive on. I hoped my car would start after sitting idle in the cold for four days. 

"Do you want to eat out when I get home from work?" asked honey, who finally went in to work that day. Boy, would I love to eat out. Had it only been four days? It seemed like an eternity. After eating, we stopped at the grocery store to restock our food supplies. Apparently everyone else had the same idea as shelves were picked bare. 

By the time we got home, the house had morphed back to its normal size. We had survived the storm and life was good. That is, it was good until I turned on the TV. 

Another snow and ice storm is on the way and we may have to do it all over again. It isn't as if we don't know it's coming. But we so seldom get snow that we don't really believe until we see it falling from the sky. 

 


Copyright 2015 Sheila Moss
 
 



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