Moss, is humor writer from Tennessee. She writes a
weekly human interest column about daily life and the funny
things that happen to everyone.
She has written for the Daily News of Kingsport, Griffin Journal,
Oakridge Now, Atlanta Woman Magazine, Aberdeen Examiner, Angleton
Advocate, and Smyrna AM, a supplement of the Murfreesboro Daily News
Journal. She has been
published by Voyageur Press, McGraw Hill, and the good folks
at Guidepost Books. Her articles have appeared in
numerous anthologies and other publications, both in print and online.
She is a
former board member and past Editor of the Columnists.com, website of the National Society of Newspaper
oldest and largest professional organization
for columnists. She is the Web Editor of
Humorists.com and a founder of the Southern Humorists writers'
organization. She is writer, editor, and webmaster of HumorColumnist.com.
To carry her weekly column in your
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article, please contact her. It's that easy.
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Online Since 1999
||Could That Be Snow?....
Could That Be Snow?
weather warning" barked the TV. Beep, beep, beep, the weather
warning rolled across the bottom of the screen, four to six inches of
snow. I ignored it. That's what they said last time. Nothing happened
In the South, we have grown complacent. Oh, sure, the forecast is
right once in a while, but just as often it is wrong. Not even the
schools believe it now. Just last week school was canceled - for
nothing - an entire snow day gone, and no snow.
When morning came this time, there were three inches not four. They
were wrong, but not wrong enough. Three inches might as well be six.
We don't know how to deal with snow in the South. Snow is a northern
thing. This should be happening in Boston, New York, or Buffalo, not
For a moment it was almost beautiful as I looked out the window at the
whiteness, a clean blanket covering the dead grass. The trees were
alive again, covered with spring snow blossoms. Then I remembered, the
streets are covered too. I can't go to work.
Snow crunching under my tires, the rear end of my car sliding around,
crazy people trying to drive, spinning their wheels in the snow, going
too fast on slick roads. No, I can't deal with it. I'm staying home.
Southerners have no experience driving in snow. One more day at work
isn't worth getting killed over.
But my grandchildren love it. My granddaughter runs in and out of
house squealing, reveling in the unusual weather, nose running, cheeks
red. Her wet mittens steam on the warm furnace vent as she takes a
break to get warm.
My other daughter calls, her kids have snow saucers and are sledding
on the perfect hill near their house. This afternoon they plan to
build a snow woman - equal rights for snow people and all that, I
Dogs love it too. The dog frisks around, up and down like a worm in
the drifts with whiskers full of fluffy stuff. Her feet are covered
with snow, frozen to her fur like ice boots. She makes muddy track all
over the kitchen floor then wriggles and squirms while I wash her
paws. Silly dog needs snow boots.
My feet will not touch it, I think, except to make a picture, that is.
I would like to have a picture. I'll use my cell phone, and I can
email it to my computer. I make the ultimate sacrifice and go outside,
careful not to slip. This stuff is impossible to walk in without
sliding. I must be crazy. What if I fall and break a leg?
Back inside I email my picture. It didn't work. It's upside down no
matter how I try to fix it. Oh, rats! Never use a new camera when it
snows. So, I do it all over again. This time I'm careful about holding
the camera phone right side up.
Pictures are great. I can enjoy the snow while staying warm inside.
Hot chocolate, a fire in the fireplace, snow isn't so bad after all as
long as it is outside and I'm inside.
I got enough of the cold stuff when I lived in Chicago. One winter it
snowed in the fall and I didn't see the ground again until spring. But
now I live the warm South were snow doesn't happen, or at least we
like to pretend it doesn't.
The weather report comes on TV. The cold front has moved northeast.
New York City is buried, worst snow they've seen in years. Snow
belongs in the North. By tomorrow the snow will be melted here. No
need to shovel. We just wait until it melts and things get back to
Copyright 2011 Sheila Moss
Nashville, TN 37219
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