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Meet the Columnist

Columnist, Sheila Moss, is humor writer from  Tennessee. She writes  a weekly human interest column about daily life and the funny things that happen to everyone.

   She has written for  the Daily News of Kingsport,   Griffin Journal, Oakridge Now, Atlanta Woman Magazine, Aberdeen Examiner, Angleton Advocate,  and Smyrna AM, a supplement of the Murfreesboro Daily News Journal. She has been published by Voyageur Press, McGraw Hill, and the good folks at Guidepost Books.  Her articles have appeared in numerous anthologies and other publications, both in print and online.

    She is a former board member and past  Editor of  the Columnists.com, website of  the National Society of Newspaper Columnists, the oldest and largest professional organization for columnists. She is the Web Editor of Southern
Humorists.com
  and  a founder of the Southern Humorists writers' organization. She is writer, editor, and webmaster of HumorColumnist.com

    To carry her weekly column in your newspaper, or to republish an article, please contact her. It's that easy. 

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Personal Shopper....
 


Personal Shopper

A week or two ago, I was going out of town on a trip. Like most women, I had nothing to wear, or at least nothing that seemed good enough to wear. All my clothes were a bit on the shabby side with those little pills that appear on garments or hemlines that fashion left has behind.

This meant one thing -- time to go shopping.

I used to love shopping for clothes. I could spend hours at the mall just looking and trying things on. However, the older I get -- and the fatter -- the less appealing shopping for clothes has become. I hate trying things on only to find that they are too small, make me look even fatter, or are just not my style.

Nevertheless, I dragged myself to the mall determined that I would find some new clothes to wear even if it killed me. After all, I didn't want to go out of town looking like last year's closet.

At the department store, I selected what I thought was a nice outfit, held it up in front of me and looked in the mirror. Another shopper was watching. "No, that doesn't look good," she said. "You need more color."

I was a bit surprised, but she was right. "Here try this one," she suggested, handing me a turquoise top and skirt. I had to admit that it did do more for me than what I had picked.

She selected another skirt. "I know where I can get a top to go with this," she said, disappearing across the store. I continued to shop thinking she was gone.

"No brown," she said, appearing behind me, "Something brighter." I put back the dress I was looking at.

"I never match print tops and bottoms; it makes you look 70 years old," she said. I put back the print skirt and top, feeling very old.

The next thing I knew, she was following me around picking out other outfits for me to try on. What's with this lady? Is she a sales clerk? No, she was a customer too.

"I love to shop!" she told me. Apparently, her fashion sense extended to other shoppers as well. "What occasion are you shopping for?" she asked. I told her what I had in mind. Soon I had an armload of clothes to try on.

I escaped to the dressing room and tried everything on. Almost everything worked. When I came out, she asked how they looked, and I admitted that I was buying several of the outfits.

"You should be a personal shopper," I said.

I hid behind the dress racks so I could pick out my own clothes. But everything I picked was navy. In fact, nearly everything in my closet is navy. I had noticed that before I came shopping.

Guess I am in a fashion rut and needed someone to help me out. I was going to give the lady my business card in case she showed up in one of my columns, but when I came out of the dressing room for the last time, she was gone.

I don't know what ever happened to her. Maybe she was a guardian fashion angel, or something. Whatever it was, it worked out okay.

While I was gone out of town, I did some shopping on my own. There was a Goodwill store right next to the hotel. They had some great bargains. Now that I am in the mood, I am finding all kinds of things.

There is a yard sell in my neighborhood next weekend, and I might even go shopping again. I love bargains! Could that be part of my problem?

If my guardian fashion angel is watching, I hope I don't pick out anything that will embarrass her.


Copyright 2007 Sheila Moss
 
 



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