Humor Columnist



















Meet the Columnist

Columnist, Sheila Moss, is humor writer from  Tennessee. She writes  a weekly human interest column about daily life and the funny things that happen to everyone.

   She has written for  the Daily News of Kingsport,   Griffin Journal, Oakridge Now, Atlanta Woman Magazine, Aberdeen Examiner, Angleton Advocate,  and Smyrna AM, a supplement of the Murfreesboro Daily News Journal. She has been published by Voyageur Press, McGraw Hill, and the good folks at Guidepost Books.  Her articles have appeared in numerous anthologies and other publications, both in print and online.

    She is a former board member and past  Editor of  the, website of  the National Society of Newspaper Columnists, the oldest and largest professional organization for columnists. She is the Web Editor of Southern
  and  a founder of the Southern Humorists writers' organization. She is writer, editor, and webmaster of

    To carry her weekly column in your newspaper, or to republish an article, please contact her. It's that easy. 

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Personal Shopper....

Shopping on the Seat of My Pants

I don't know about you, but I'm more of a Cyber Monday kind of person than a Black Friday sort. Camping out in the cold and getting mobbed is not worth the trouble in my book, even if I miss out on some bargains that I probably don't need anyhow. You can always find it online if you don't mind shopping on the seat of your pants in front of a computer.

My cyber shopping began years ago when I found Amazon and could order any book I wanted and have it in my mailbox within a few days. I bought a lot of books back in the day. Then my shopping expanded to include video tapes and the Amazon inventory expanded until they had it all. I wanted it all and kept on shopping setting on the seat of my pants.

Then I discovered eBay. I stayed up nights waiting for listings to close so I could get the final bid. I couldn't quit buying, even though the quality was somewhat iffy. How much can you actually tell much about an item from a picture? But I couldn't resist and continued shopping on the seat of my pants.

You would think I would learn, wouldn't you? Forget it, a cyber-shopper never learns. I found more online stores that I liked, mainly through trial and error. Land's End had turtleneck tops with extra-long sleeves. Before that, I could never get sleeves that were long enough, a very good reason to continue shopping on the seat of my pants.

Once you buy from an online store, they give your address to other places and you begin to get temptations from cyber-sellers everywhere. Most junk mail goes straight to the trash, but a few emails are looked at first. Before I realized it, I was compulsively shopping and crashed-landed in women's clothing on the seat of my pants.

I discovered Shoebuy. I love shoes. At first I only ordered brands that I knew. Tell me, what could possibly be more unlikely to fit than shoes? But they know about people's reluctance and give free shipping and free returns. Who could resist that? What could possibly go wrong? Nothing - unless you try to return the same pair of shoes more than once, and the free postage runs out. You eventually find you don't need shoes anyhow when what you are wearing out is not shoes but the seat of your pants.

My current addiction is Zulilly. I saw the online ads for children's clothing and I was not interested. But one day I clicked and that is the day I found Rising International Woman, colorful and different clothes and purses handmade by women in Nepal. Buying these deeply discounted products helps women in poverty to earn money. Who could argue with that? There is a one little catch - no returns.

The boxes will start arriving any day now. I love online shopping - no walking till my feet hurt, no crowds, no wasting my time looking for things I can't find. And it's easy to shop from your own home, in front of the computer on the seat of your pants. The downside, you say? Well, I do spend a lot of time at the various postal services returning clothes that do not fit.

But things work out often enough. I have not been to a shopping mall in ages, or any other brick and mortar store other than for groceries (which will soon be available online). Why would I go out to shop when the largest mall in the world is sitting on my desk and I can buy anything - shopping on the seat of my pants.

Copyright 2013 Sheila Moss

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