Moss, is humor writer from Tennessee. She writes a
weekly human interest column about daily life and the funny
things that happen to everyone.
She has written for the Daily News of Kingsport, Griffin Journal,
Oakridge Now, Atlanta Woman Magazine, Aberdeen Examiner, Angleton
Advocate, and Smyrna AM, a supplement of the Murfreesboro Daily News
Journal. She has been
published by Voyageur Press, McGraw Hill, and the good folks
at Guidepost Books. Her articles have appeared in
numerous anthologies and other publications, both in print and online.
She is a
former board member and past Editor of the Columnists.com, website of the National Society of Newspaper
oldest and largest professional organization
for columnists. She is the Web Editor of
Humorists.com and a founder of the Southern Humorists writers'
organization. She is writer, editor, and webmaster of HumorColumnist.com.
To carry her weekly column in your
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Online Since 1999
Shopping on the Seat of My Pants
don't know about you, but I'm more of a Cyber Monday kind of person
than a Black Friday sort. Camping out in the cold and getting mobbed
is not worth the trouble in my book, even if I miss out on some
bargains that I probably don't need anyhow. You can always find it
online if you don't mind shopping on the seat of your pants in front
of a computer.
cyber shopping began years ago when I found Amazon and could order
any book I wanted and have it in my mailbox within a few days. I
bought a lot of books back in the day. Then my shopping expanded to
include video tapes and the Amazon inventory expanded until they had
it all. I wanted it all and kept on shopping setting on the seat of
discovered eBay. I stayed up nights waiting for listings to close so
I could get the final bid. I couldn't quit buying, even though the
quality was somewhat iffy. How much can you actually tell much about
an item from a picture? But I couldn't resist and continued shopping
on the seat of my pants.
think I would learn, wouldn't you? Forget it, a cyber-shopper never
learns. I found more online stores that I liked, mainly through
trial and error. Land's End had turtleneck tops with extra-long
sleeves. Before that, I could never get sleeves that were long
enough, a very good reason to continue shopping on the seat of my
Once you buy from an online store, they give
your address to other places and you begin to get temptations from
cyber-sellers everywhere. Most junk mail goes straight to the trash,
but a few emails are looked at first. Before I realized it, I was
compulsively shopping and crashed-landed in women's clothing on the
seat of my pants.
I discovered Shoebuy. I love shoes. At first I
only ordered brands that I knew. Tell me, what could possibly be
more unlikely to fit than shoes? But they know about people's
reluctance and give free shipping and free returns. Who could resist
that? What could possibly go wrong? Nothing - unless you try to
return the same pair of shoes more than once, and the free postage
runs out. You eventually find you don't need shoes anyhow when what
you are wearing out is not shoes but the seat of your pants.
My current addiction is Zulilly. I saw the
online ads for children's clothing and I was not interested. But one
day I clicked and that is the day I found Rising International
Woman, colorful and different clothes and purses handmade by women
in Nepal. Buying these deeply discounted products helps women in
poverty to earn money. Who could argue with that? There is a one
little catch - no returns.
The boxes will start arriving any day now. I
love online shopping - no walking till my feet hurt, no crowds, no
wasting my time looking for things I can't find. And it's easy to
shop from your own home, in front of the computer on the seat of
your pants. The downside, you say? Well, I do spend a lot of time at
the various postal services returning clothes that do not fit.
work out often enough. I have not been to a shopping mall in ages,
or any other brick and mortar store other than for groceries (which
will soon be available online). Why would I go out to shop when the
largest mall in the world is sitting on my desk and I can buy
anything - shopping on the seat of my pants.
Copyright 2013 Sheila Moss
Nashville, TN 37219
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