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Meet the Columnist

Columnist, Sheila Moss, is humor writer from  Tennessee. She writes  a weekly human interest column about daily life and the funny things that happen to everyone.

   She has written for  the Daily News of Kingsport,   Griffin Journal, Oakridge Now, Atlanta Woman Magazine, Aberdeen Examiner, Angleton Advocate,  and Smyrna AM, a supplement of the Murfreesboro Daily News Journal. She has been published by Voyageur Press, McGraw Hill, and the good folks at Guidepost Books.  Her articles have appeared in numerous anthologies and other publications, both in print and online.

    She is a former board member and past  Editor of  the, website of  the National Society of Newspaper Columnists, the oldest and largest professional organization for columnists. She is the Web Editor of Southern
  and  a founder of the Southern Humorists writers' organization. She is writer, editor, and webmaster of

    To carry her weekly column in your newspaper, or to republish an article, please contact her. It's that easy. 

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I've Been Scalped

I've been scalped. You ladies know what I mean. I have a lousy haircut. My worst nightmare has come true.

It started a week ago when I decided that I did not like my hairstyle. My head was a triangle. I've worn it the very same way for a long time, straight and curled under. It was boring. Maybe some layers instead of all the same length for a change? Yes, that was it, layers.

I went to the same hairdresser I always go to. "How do you want it cut?" she asked, thinking I would say, "Trim the ends and leave the style the same."

I surprised her. "Could you layer it?" I asked?

So, she cut it with layers to the bottom of my ears. "I hope I've not made a big mistake," I thought. But if I didn't like it, my hair grows fast and the layers could be trimmed off in no time.

To my great surprise, when I washed it after the cut, there were curls where the layers were. No hot curlers, no curling iron, I didn't have to do anything except wash it. But the top was still flat. "Maybe if I have the top layered too," I thought. When hair is wet, it absorbs water which makes it curl.

I usually comb it while wet, and blow dry. In other words, I am straightening out naturally curly hair. If I do the opposite, towel dry and leave it alone, it will be curly. I remembered from my previous curly days that it was okay to dry it with a diffuser. It just so happened that I had recently bought a new blow dryer and it came with a diffuser.

Finally, I found time to get back for more layers, but my regular stylist wasn't there. "Oh, well, anyone here can cut it," I thought. They are professionals.

Big mistake!

"How do you want it cut?" asked the new stylist.

"Well, I had it layered about a week ago and it is curling where the layers are. Can you layer it all the way up to my crown?"

"It is too long in back," said the stylist. "If I cut the top short, it will look like a mullet."

I didn't want a mullet. "Well, what can I do to make the top curl?"

"I can shorten the back some and it will all work together." She was the expert and should know what she is doing, I figured. "Okay, fix it then," I said.

Big mistake.

"Snip, snip, snip." It sure looked like a lot of hair was falling on the floor, but the top was short like I wanted it.

"Do you want to look at the back?" She asked, handing me a mirror.

I was flabbergasted. I had no hair! She had scalped me. My hair was about an inch long all over my head. I was in shock. I had let her to use her own judgment, so what could I say? You canít put it back once it is gone.

I now have what we used to call a poodle cut. You could call it an Afro, except Iím not African.

I tried styling it at home, but there is not much you can do with inch long hair. Maybe I can wear a scarf over it like the Muslim ladies do. But Iím not Muslim.

So, Iím stuck with no hair until it grows out unless I buy a wig, which Iím not going to do for a temporary situation. The average hair growth is one-half inch per month. It will be this way for a while.

My advice: Never let a new stylist cut your hair any way she wants. You may be scalped, like me.'

At least my inch-long hair is curly.

Copyright 2015 Sheila Moss

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