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Meet the Columnist

Columnist, Sheila Moss, is humor writer from  Tennessee. She writes  a weekly human interest column about daily life and the funny things that happen to everyone.

   She has written for  the Daily News of Kingsport,   Griffin Journal, Oakridge Now, Atlanta Woman Magazine, Aberdeen Examiner, Angleton Advocate,  and Smyrna AM, a supplement of the Murfreesboro Daily News Journal. She has been published by Voyageur Press, McGraw Hill, and the good folks at Guidepost Books.  Her articles have appeared in numerous anthologies and other publications, both in print and online.

    She is a former board member and past  Editor of  the Columnists.com, website of  the National Society of Newspaper Columnists, the oldest and largest professional organization for columnists. She is the Web Editor of Southern
Humorists.com
  and  a founder of the Southern Humorists writers' organization. She is writer, editor, and webmaster of HumorColumnist.com

    To carry her weekly column in your newspaper, or to republish an article, please contact her. It's that easy. 

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Life in a Rut....
 


Life In a Rut

Not much to do this Friday except wait for the dishwasher repair man to come. My life is so exciting lately that the big event of the day is waiting for a repair guy. Bor-ing. Other than the dog trying to eat him alive, there is not much I can say about his visit. He had a part left over when he finished, but promised to come back if he figured out what it was for. 

I had a full calendar this week, something to do every day except Monday. That meant if I wanted to do anything extra; I had better do it on Monday as I wouldn't have time during the rest of the week. So what was my exciting Monday like? Well, I went to Walmart, one of the city's hotspots. The most exciting thing about Walmart is trying to stay out of the way of seniors driving motorized shopping carts. 

Leaving the exhilaration of Walmart, I sped over to PetSmart to buy cat food, another thrilling place to hang out. Usually I take the dog with me when I go to PetSmart, but since I had other places to go where she is not welcome, I had to leave her at home. That took out any possibility of fun at the pet store. 

Next on the "to do" list was a stop at the allergy doctor for allergy shots. I know. Why allergy shorts when I hang out with dogs, you ask? Well, the idea is that the shots will eventually desensitize me to dog and cat hair, dust, pollen, grass and other environmental allergens. Of course, if I am allergic to shots, one in each arm, that is my own problem. 

After enduring the endless monogamy of mundane tasks, I deserved to be rewarded. I got to go to Goodwill. I am collecting birdhouses for my back yard. Not what everyone would collect, I'm sure, but remember how boring my life has become and you will see why this is exciting. You can get birdhouses anywhere, but I refuse to pay more than $2.99 and that severely limits my possibilities. 

The next day was Tuesday, another boring day in the rut of my life. I had plans for Tuesday. What were they? Oh, yes, going to the dentist. They say we forget what we don't want to remember. I got my teeth cleaned and found out I might need a root canal. A root canal is not at all the sort of excitement I had in mind. 

Wednesday was extreme excitement day; I was going to get my taxes done. I usually try to go earlier in the year, but my previous appointment was cancelled due to ice and snow… twice. I suppose just being able to actually speak to my CPA was excitement enough. What a rut I'm in when getting income taxes done is the highlight of my week. 

Thursday was "speak to an attorney" day. I won't say why, but trust me, it was not anything exciting. Anyhow, he had to go to court on an emergency and cancelled, but I didn't get the text message until I was already on the way. I turned around at the next exit. At least I could stop and get gas for my car on the way home so the day would not be a total loss. 

Do you think my life is in a rut? Me too… I have big plans for this evening, though, going to Publix to buy groceries. WooHoo! 

Life is a series of boring little tasks, punctuated with real experiences. I am ready for some punctuation.

 

Copyright 2015 Sheila Moss
 
 



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