Moss, is humor writer from Tennessee. She writes a
weekly human interest column about daily life and the funny
things that happen to everyone.
She has written for the Daily News of Kingsport, Griffin Journal,
Oakridge Now, Atlanta Woman Magazine, Aberdeen Examiner, Angleton
Advocate, and Smyrna AM, a supplement of the Murfreesboro Daily News
Journal. She has been
published by Voyageur Press, McGraw Hill, and the good folks
at Guidepost Books. Her articles have appeared in
numerous anthologies and other publications, both in print and online.
She is a
former board member and past Editor of the Columnists.com, website of the National Society of Newspaper
oldest and largest professional organization
for columnists. She is the Web Editor of
Humorists.com and a founder of the Southern Humorists writers'
organization. She is writer, editor, and webmaster of HumorColumnist.com.
To carry her weekly column in your
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Online Since 1999
hate me around here," said Misty the Cat. "I am going to
run away from home. They will be sorry for not feeding me Fancy
Feast." It was not long after that that Misty's human opened
the door to look out. As soon as the door was cracked, the cat
charged from behind and ran out into the pre-dawn darkness.
kitty, kitty, kitty, come back."
Misty and had no intention of coming back. "They can kiss my
cat paw. Let them try to catch me in the dark." Ms. Furball was
free, outside for the first time in her life. She had always
wondered what the outside world was like.
is that dog walking down the street? He doesn't look very friendly.
Maybe I should find a place to hide. I want to run away, not to be
eaten by a vicious animal. These shrubs don't seem very safe. A big
dog could charge right through them."
Another dog? I didn't notice any dogs when I was inside looking out
the window. I don't even have claws to defend myself. Outside is a
pretty scary place. I don't dare cross the street to run away. A car
could squash me flat. Maybe I should have thought about this runaway
thing a little longer."
was not wearing her collar with the little heart shaped tag. What if
she got lost? No one would know where she lived.
daylight came, the human went outside to look for her. She was
probably behind the shrubs somewhere. But walking around and
calling, kitty, kitty, kitty, produced no results. She is probably
was panicked and scared to death.
times during the day, the human went out to look for the cat. She
had never noticed before how many cats there are in the
neighborhood. Cats are everywhere. She thought for sure it was Misty
under the big maple tree, but when she got close, the look-alike cat
darted into the neighbors' pet door. She saw another cat across the
street, but it had grey stripes and was not Misty either.
human noticed some cats hanging around a small open space under the
neighbors' shed. Did they know something? But if the hair ball was
under there, she was too terrified to come out. The human decided to
leave the garage door cracked and maybe Misty would see it and come
was falling and Misty had been gone the entire day. Her human was
very worried. She should have taken her to the vet for one of those
computer chips. But Misty is a housecat. She never goes outside –
at least until now. She could freeze to death. Maybe the human could
put up some Lost Cat posters around the neighborhood. It is supposed
to be 27 degrees tonight.
was cold and shivering and had not had anything to eat all day. She
had tried to catch a bird, but it scolded her and flew away. This
pampered pussy cat preferred food that did not fight back.
human was outside with a flashlight looking for her in the dark
again, so the kitty strolled casually from her hiding place and
stood at the corner of the fence where the human could see her.
before the human could catch her, she disappeared into the garage
and came home on her own terms.
is not all it is cracked up to be," Misty thought, as she
licked herself to remove the dirt and smell of the outdoors. Misty
ate supper and curled up in her happy place on the sofa for a nap.
From now on she was going to stay inside and watch Animal Planet on
will have to figure out another way to get Fancy Feast instead of
the dry stuff.
Copyright 2014 Sheila Moss
Nashville, TN 37219
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