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Meet the Columnist

Columnist, Sheila Moss, is humor writer from  Tennessee. She writes  a weekly human interest column about daily life and the funny things that happen to everyone.

   She has written for  the Daily News of Kingsport,   Griffin Journal, Oakridge Now, Atlanta Woman Magazine, Aberdeen Examiner, Angleton Advocate,  and Smyrna AM, a supplement of the Murfreesboro Daily News Journal. She has been published by Voyageur Press, McGraw Hill, and the good folks at Guidepost Books.  Her articles have appeared in numerous anthologies and other publications, both in print and online.

    She is a former board member and past  Editor of  the Columnists.com, website of  the National Society of Newspaper Columnists, the oldest and largest professional organization for columnists. She is the Web Editor of Southern
Humorists.com
  and  a founder of the Southern Humorists writers' organization. She is writer, editor, and webmaster of HumorColumnist.com

    To carry her weekly column in your newspaper, or to republish an article, please contact her. It's that easy. 

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The Runaway....
   

The Runaway

"They hate me around here," said Misty the Cat. "I am going to run away from home. They will be sorry for not feeding me Fancy Feast." It was not long after that that Misty's human opened the door to look out. As soon as the door was cracked, the cat charged from behind and ran out into the pre-dawn darkness.

"Misty, kitty, kitty, kitty, come back."

But Misty and had no intention of coming back. "They can kiss my cat paw. Let them try to catch me in the dark." Ms. Furball was free, outside for the first time in her life. She had always wondered what the outside world was like.

"But is that dog walking down the street? He doesn't look very friendly. Maybe I should find a place to hide. I want to run away, not to be eaten by a vicious animal. These shrubs don't seem very safe. A big dog could charge right through them."

"Yikes! Another dog? I didn't notice any dogs when I was inside looking out the window. I don't even have claws to defend myself. Outside is a pretty scary place. I don't dare cross the street to run away. A car could squash me flat. Maybe I should have thought about this runaway thing a little longer."

Misty was not wearing her collar with the little heart shaped tag. What if she got lost? No one would know where she lived.

When daylight came, the human went outside to look for her. She was probably behind the shrubs somewhere. But walking around and calling, kitty, kitty, kitty, produced no results. She is probably was panicked and scared to death.

Several times during the day, the human went out to look for the cat. She had never noticed before how many cats there are in the neighborhood. Cats are everywhere. She thought for sure it was Misty under the big maple tree, but when she got close, the look-alike cat darted into the neighbors' pet door. She saw another cat across the street, but it had grey stripes and was not Misty either.

The human noticed some cats hanging around a small open space under the neighbors' shed. Did they know something? But if the hair ball was under there, she was too terrified to come out. The human decided to leave the garage door cracked and maybe Misty would see it and come inside.

Night was falling and Misty had been gone the entire day. Her human was very worried. She should have taken her to the vet for one of those computer chips. But Misty is a housecat. She never goes outside at least until now. She could freeze to death. Maybe the human could put up some Lost Cat posters around the neighborhood. It is supposed to be 27 degrees tonight.

Misty was cold and shivering and had not had anything to eat all day. She had tried to catch a bird, but it scolded her and flew away. This pampered pussy cat preferred food that did not fight back.

The human was outside with a flashlight looking for her in the dark again, so the kitty strolled casually from her hiding place and stood at the corner of the fence where the human could see her.

"Misty!"

But before the human could catch her, she disappeared into the garage and came home on her own terms.

"Adventure is not all it is cracked up to be," Misty thought, as she licked herself to remove the dirt and smell of the outdoors. Misty ate supper and curled up in her happy place on the sofa for a nap. From now on she was going to stay inside and watch Animal Planet on TV.

She will have to figure out another way to get Fancy Feast instead of the dry stuff.


Copyright 2014 Sheila Moss
 
 



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