Moss, is humor writer from Tennessee. She writes a
weekly human interest column about daily life and the funny
things that happen to everyone.
She has written for the Daily News of Kingsport, Griffin Journal,
Oakridge Now, Atlanta Woman Magazine, Aberdeen Examiner, Angleton
Advocate, and Smyrna AM, a supplement of the Murfreesboro Daily News
Journal. She has been
published by Voyageur Press, McGraw Hill, and the good folks
at Guidepost Books. Her articles have appeared in
numerous anthologies and other publications, both in print and online.
She is a
former board member and past Editor of the Columnists.com, website of the National Society of Newspaper
oldest and largest professional organization
for columnists. She is the Web Editor of
Humorists.com and a founder of the Southern Humorists writers'
organization. She is writer, editor, and webmaster of HumorColumnist.com.
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Online Since 1999
||Road Trip to Texas....
Road Trip to Texas
We decided to drive to Texas instead of flying. Besides saving money,
we could see the countryside that way. Thing is, there isn’t
anything to see between here and Texas except trees. It was pretty
much like driving through a green tunnel for 12 hours except for the
cities, which all, without fail, had construction. Even trees seemed
interesting compared to concrete barriers and orange barrels.
I didn’t know it was so far to Texas. There are a lot of rest stops
between here and there. I lost count of how many times we stopped. I
thought women were the ones that wanted to stop all the time, but my
honey stopped so many times I thought we would never get to Texas. Of
course, when I wanted to stop it was a different story. We had always
just passed a rest stop, and the next one was another 33 miles.
Occasionally, there was the announcement, “I have only 100 miles of
gas left - start looking for a station.” This was usually in the
middle of a major city on a six-lane road in the middle of a
construction zone. In addition, the gas had to be the right flavor.
The car apparently only runs on one brand. By the time we found a
station that was suitable, the car was coughing and running on fumes.
One interesting part of a road trip, however, is that you have to stop
and eat. I like to look for local restaurants, which provide a chance
to sample local cuisine. At our first restaurant, the waitress had big
hair just like Flo from TV. She brought sweet tea while we visited the
food bar. “What’s that yellow stuff?” asked my honey. It was
hominy. The green stuff was turnip greens - Flo said so. We knew then
that we were somewhere deep in the South.
We attended to business in Texas and after that was over, we hit the
road for the return trip. Why is it that the very same road always
seems longer in the reverse direction? There was still nothing to see.
Nothing, not even many pine trees until you are almost to Arkansas.
The hardest part of driving through Texas is staying awake, aside from
finding a gas station with the right flavor of gas, of course.
Did you know there are no restaurants in Hope, Arkansas? We stopped to
eat there and drove up and down the street looking but finding nothing
but fast food. Finally, we settled on a local catfish place.
“What’s this gravy?” my honey asked, looking at a small cup of
brown liquid that came with his meal. “That isn’t gravy, its pinto
beans!” Guess he forgot we were still in the deep South.
After nearly running out of gas again and coasting into a gas station,
we decided we might as well eat again for one last time before home.
“Pick a place,” says honey. Of course, with a full tank he drove
so fast that by the time I saw anything we were past the exit.
Finally, I saw a billboard with a local restaurant that sounded good.
“We can stop there, exit 80A, 28 miles.” But the restaurant again
couldn’t be found. What is it with finding restaurants?
With stomachs growling, we drove up the street and down the street.
Finally, we gave up and went to a different restaurant, which turned
out to be a fortunate choice. It had more fried chicken than I’ve
ever seen in my life. I gained two pounds on the trip, and I’m sure
that the fried chicken and peach cobbler are the reason why.
I’m still happy about all the money we saved by driving instead of
flying. We probably saved enough to pay for another trip. Of course
... we will have to drive again..
Copyright 2005 Sheila Moss
Nashville, TN 37219
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