time to make New Yearís Resolutions again. Everyone is feeling a bit guilty
about all those calories consumed over the holidays. The beginning of the
calendar year always seems like a good time to get a fresh start.
Looking around, I see other people with innumerable things that
need changing. It seems as though it might be easier to make resolutions for
other people than for myself. I fight mental block and grind my teeth. There
must be SOMETHING wrong with me. After all, nobody is perfect.
Reluctantly, I resolve not to drink so much coffee. Guess three
pots a day is a bit excessive. Wonder if that has anything to do with the
anxiety Iíve felt lately? Nah, itís probably something else.
I resolve to get more sleep. Of course, the boss is going to get
upset when I donít make it into the office on time. Go to bed earlier? Why,
thatís unthinkable. That would require missing the end of a TV program that
Iíve only seen once or twice before - or, even worse, not reading all my
I could spend less time on the computer and more time on
self-improvement type activities? Ha, donít be ridiculous, how can I know what
to do to improve myself if I donít look it up on the Internet?
I would resolve to stop smoking, but since I am a non-smoker,
maybe Iíll just resolve to remind everyone else that they should stop. Boy,
that ought to make me really popular!
I might resolve to be neater and to organize things better. Of
course, I would have to wait until I have time to get organized before I could
do this one. Compulsive neatness makes people uncomfortable anyhow. I may need
to prioritize on this one.
I could resolve to work harder and be more efficient. But to be
efficient, I need to have some time off for relaxation and recovery. How can I
be more efficient without rest?
I might resolve to take an educational improvement course of
some type. Letís see, cooking? No, I already know how to cook. Golf? Iím not
interested in hitting balls around. Music? It takes too long to learn. I just
canít think of anything that I want to improve enough to devote the work
necessary to do it.
Probably I could eat more nutritiously and cut down on fats and
calories. Of course, Iíve been trying to do that for years anyhow. Besides,
everyone makes New Yearís Resolutions to lose weight. Nothing creative here.
Maybe I could resolve to GAIN weight. Then if I donít keep my resolution, I
would be better off instead of worse off.
Maybe I could resolve to drive more carefully and always obey
the speed limits. I do this one already. Ha, ha, just kidding you
law-enforcement officers. (Whew!)
I could also resolve to relax more. Of course, just deliberating
the need to relax makes my heartbeat faster and my blood pressure rise. Face it,
if I relaxed any more, Iíd be a couch potato. Pass the remote control, would
Everyone resolves to save money. But, whatís the point of
saving money unless I want to buy something with it? And if Iím going to spend
it anyhow, why bother to save? All I do is eliminate the middleman by spending
it as soon as I get it.
How about if I resolve to be more productive? I never did know
what I was supposed to produce to be productive. Is it possible to be productive
without a product, or is productivity itself a product? It all becomes very
That is the whole darn troubled with New Yearís resolutions.
If you can, you already are. If you canít, then why worry yourself to death
The best idea of all still seems to be the classic one of
resolving not to make any New Yearís Resolutions.