How to Remodel a Home
As most people will tell you, any home remodeling job
is a long and endless process. I recently had to have my kitchen floor
replaced due to a leaky refrigerator and this is how it went:
Step 1 - Choose a general contractor to replace
Step 2 - Contractor comes, measures house with
a laser beam, and walks around looking and nodding. Great, at last we
are getting some place.
Step 3 - They will find flooring to match what
I have now. Only a small area was actually damaged.
Step 4 - The place where I bought the original
floor doesn't have it in stock. I guess the floor will not be done as
quickly as I thought.
Step 5 -They can't find a match, but know of
another place that might have it. Why didn't they look there in the
Step 6 - They found some almost exactly like I
have - almost. The entire floor of the kitchen, dining area, and
living room will have to be replaced. The cost will only be 10 times
as much as the original estimate. They will call my insurance company
with the good news.
Step 7 - They cannot purchase the wood until
the contract is signed. (Translation: They will not order the wood
until the check for the down payment is signed.)
Step 8 - Good news. The wood is on order. Bad
news: It is not in stock and will have to be back ordered. Why am I
Step 9 - The wood is not in yet. Did they have
to chop down the trees and float logs from South America?
Step 10 - The wood is here. They cannot trust
the seller's delivery service as they dumped and ruined an entire load
on another job. I didn't really want to know that.
Step 11 - The wood is finally delivered. I have
boxes of wood all over the house, in the kitchen, in the living room,
in the hall. We are climbing over and around boxes, but it won't be
Step 12 - They cannot install the floor as the
wood has to acclimate, whatever that is. The house is like a Brazilian
rain forest. The cats climb and jump on the boxes playing king of the
Step 13 - The sub-contractor who will do the
installation comes to walk around looking and nodding. It apparently
takes a village to install a floor. He forgot to bring his tape
measure, but will use the measurements of the general contractor.
Step 14 - The sub-contractor is coming at last
to install the floor. The general contractor assures me it is worth
waiting to get it done right.
Step 15 - The sub-contractor comes and walks
around looking and nodding, then leaves one worker who does not speak
English. After a few hours, he injures himself and is bleeding. I call
the general contractor who calls the sub-contractor who calls me, who
passes the phone to the worker.
Step 16 - My house is full of big men in big
boots walking around, speaking in a foreign language, running
extension cords, sawing, moving furniture, hammering, stapling,
carrying boards, throwing scraps out the back door. We can't get
inside our own house due to the commotion - but at last they are
working on it.
Step 17 - Good news, the floor is almost done -
almost. They ran out of wood. The general contractor will order more.
Here we go again. The phone isn't working, no internet, not to mention
an uncompleted job on the floor.
Step 18 - The men come and move the furniture
back - sort of - and clean up the sawdust - sort of. Things begin to
get back to normal - sort of.
All I have to do now is wait for the rest of the wood
to arrive, be delivered, acclimated, and be installed. Things seem
hopeful - until my daughter walks into the kitchen and finds the