The other day I was down in the "Boro"
and decided to stop in at the Home Improvement Warehouse on the
parkway to check for a light fixture. The light fixture in the
bathroom has been blinking and winking for some time and finally
died. I wanted to get another one that would fit the same space,
but have been having trouble finding the right kind.
I didnít have any luck finding the light at
the warehouse either, but thatís not the story. As I left with
my partner, we noticed a hot dog vendor outside on the sidewalk.
"Kosher Hot Dogs," it proclaimed on
the red umbrella. My partner, being Jewish, is always looking
for Kosher things.
"Ever have a Kosher hot dog?" he
"I donít know," I admitted. I have
no idea what came over me next. I never buy food from street
vendors, but suddenly, on impulse, I heard myself saying, "Wanna
So, there we were, on the parking lot of a
hardware store buying hot dogs from a street vendor. I donít
even like hot dogs.
"Regular or Super?" asked the
"Whatís the difference?" we asked,
showing our hot dog ignorance.
"Super is twice as big!"
"Well, in that case, make it super,"
Those Kosher dogs were HUGE, on a large
gourmet roll - not a regular size hot dog bun, and with all the
fixings - mustard, onion, and sweet pickle relish for me.
"These are not like the ones you get at
the ball park," proclaimed the vendor. We were pleased to
hear this as ballpark franks are not all they are cracked up to
"My hot dogs come all the way from
Chicago," said the vendor. We were properly impressed.
"But that means the price of gasoline is
killing my business," he confided. We were properly
He wrapped the giant dogs in silvery paper and
money was exchanged in the customary manner.
"Where do we eat them?" I asked my
"Right here," he said.
So there we were in the hot parking lot,
dining out in the sun.
"Iíve finally become a full-fledged
redneck," I thought, eating hot dogs on a parking lot.
Residing in Tennessee, I kinda figured the redneck
transformation might happen some day.
But that was the most delicious hot dog Iíve
ever eaten! It was large, plump and juicy, nothing at all like a
regular hot dog. "This is GOOD!" I exclaimed!
"I told you that Kosher dogs were
good," replied my partner, smugly. I think he was pleased
with himself for being right for a change.
Now I can hardly wait for Saturday to go back
to the Home Improvement Warehouse again. I sure hope that vendor
is still there. If you want to eat out for lunch, I know the
perfect spot. Bring your pickup truck and we can sit on the
tailgate. A carton of RC might be good too, seeing as how we are
admittedly doing this redneck style.