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Meet the Columnist

Columnist, Sheila Moss, is humor writer from  Tennessee. She writes  a weekly human interest column about daily life and the funny things that happen to everyone.

   She has written for  the Daily News of Kingsport,   Griffin Journal, Oakridge Now, Atlanta Woman Magazine, Aberdeen Examiner, Angleton Advocate,  and Smyrna AM, a supplement of the Murfreesboro Daily News Journal. She has been published by Voyageur Press, McGraw Hill, and the good folks at Guidepost Books.  Her articles have appeared in numerous anthologies and other publications, both in print and online.

    She is a former board member and past  Editor of  the Columnists.com, website of  the National Society of Newspaper Columnists, the oldest and largest professional organization for columnists. She is the Web Editor of Southern
Humorists.com
  and  a founder of the Southern Humorists writers' organization. She is writer, editor, and webmaster of HumorColumnist.com

    To carry her weekly column in your newspaper, or to republish an article, please contact her. It's that easy. 

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Red Corvette....
 


Are You Ready for a Red Corvette?

Take the True/False Quiz and Determine Your Readiness

T F Life in the fast lane is the only way to travel.

T F My driverís license has no points against it Ė yet.

T F I can tolerate the wind in my face and the highway patrol on my rear.

T F The speed limit should be raised to 180 m.p.h.

T F Being an adult is no reason to stop playing hot wheels.

T F I like the idea of having no back seat driver...ever.

T F I like getting yelled at, whistled at, waved at and honked at.

T F I like it even better if I havenít left my coffee cup on the roof.

T F I refuse to park where my doors might get pinged.

T F I frequently practice "creative parking".

T F The roar of the motor sounds better than a radio.

T F Low bucket seats donít give me leg cramps or a backache.

T F I love planning activities and outings that my car will enjoy.

T F Iím willing to hold my breath while trying to get over speed bumps.

T F Iím offended by a challenge from a Porsche.

T F Iím offended by the mere mention of a Porsche.

T F When caught speeding, Iím willing to tell a traffic cop, "It was worth it!"

T F Iíve bottomed out on a steep driveway without swearing out loud.

T F I know the meaning of 0-60 in 4.8 - or I would like to learn.

T F Iíd be willing to lose my fear of flying in an automobile.

T F Time can be measured as BC and AD.
(Before Corvette and After Deal)

T F The generation gap is smaller in a Corvette than any place else on earth.

T F I love driving an ego car with a vanity license plate.

T F Iím expecting a mid life crisis.

T F I know the correct answer to "How do you like your Vette?".


23+ True - Mid-life crisis ready to happen. Youíre speeding in the fast lane.

15-20 True Ė Youíve got The Fever Ė Kiss your bank account goodbye and close the generation gap before itís too late.

5Ė15 True - Senility is closing in. Consider an SUV. Then get out of the way and eat our smoke.

1-5 True - Hopeless Ė Stick with the old clunker and affordable insurance rates. Hot cars are not your forteí.


Authorís Note: This article was written to honor the 50th Anniversary of my favorite car, the Chevy Corvette. Since the first Vette rolled off the assembly line in 1953, it has starred in TV shows, such as Route 66, received mention in songs (Beach Boys, Jan & Dean, Prince) and is glorified in it's very own museum. It has become a legend as the only American sports car, with a large following of enthusiastic owners and fans.


Copyright 2003 Sheila Moss

 
 



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