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Meet the Columnist

Columnist, Sheila Moss, is humor writer from  Tennessee. She writes  a weekly human interest column about daily life and the funny things that happen to everyone.

   She has written for  the Daily News of Kingsport,   Griffin Journal, Oakridge Now, Atlanta Woman Magazine, Aberdeen Examiner, Angleton Advocate,  and Smyrna AM, a supplement of the Murfreesboro Daily News Journal. She has been published by Voyageur Press, McGraw Hill, and the good folks at Guidepost Books.  Her articles have appeared in numerous anthologies and other publications, both in print and online.

    She is a former board member and past  Editor of  the Columnists.com, website of  the National Society of Newspaper Columnists, the oldest and largest professional organization for columnists. She is the Web Editor of Southern
Humorists.com
  and  a founder of the Southern Humorists writers' organization. She is writer, editor, and webmaster of HumorColumnist.com

    To carry her weekly column in your newspaper, or to republish an article, please contact her. It's that easy. 

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Pushing Your Luck....
 


Pushing Your Luck

Sorry you missed it.

Missed what?

The party -- the Friday the 13th party.

Who ever heard of having a party for Friday the 13th? After all, why invite bad luck if you don't have to? What could be more fun that celebrating a negative like Friday the 13th to show there is no luck, good or bad, associated with the day.

Some people just can't miss an opportunity to show that they are not superstitious, even though believing that Friday the 13th is unlucky is one of the most common superstitions in the United States.

You are not superstitious, are you?

Good, then you would not have minded walking under a ladder to get to the party, or even walking under three ladders if you had to. Some people believe that the number three is unlucky and that bad things come in threes, especially when three unlucky events happen close together.

It was a great party, even though the black cat didn't think so and ran across the path of every person there. Thank goodness, like you, they were not superstitious as a black cat crossing your path is a sure sign of bad luck to come.

Guests all had umbrellas and opened them inside. Not sure why this is considered bad luck but umbrellas are really for outside and not needed where it isn't raining.

Salt was spilled liberally as everyone knows that spilled salt will bring bad luck. There are ways to break the spell, but that would be superstitious, and you are not superstitious, are you?

Guests were invited to put their shoes on the table and their hats on the bed. Do I need to say why? Believe it or not, everyone did and not one person died, at least not yet. I guess we will all die at some point but hopefully that will be too far in the distant future to result from shoes on the table.

If you had been there, you would have noticed that all the mirrors were covered. That is because they were cracked and might steal your soul if you looked into them. Breaking a mirror is one of the worse possible curses and brings seven years of bad luck to those unlucky enough to believe in superstition.

Everyone was seated at a table for thirteen. Twelve is an even number and creates order while thirteen is unlucky and brings discord, but only if you are superstitious, of course.

It was difficult for people to avoid stepping on the cracks which were pretty much everywhere. Fortunately, no backs were broken in the process. If you are not superstitious, I'm sure you know why. Maybe you should call your mother and check, just in case.

The windows were open in case a bird might want to fly in and bring some bad luck with it.

Don't let it land on your bed or you may not make it until the party ends before impending doom overtakes you.

If your lottery ticket doesn't win, it is nothing new and you can't blame it on bad luck, just on chance not working out for you this time. Winning the lottery is always merely chance and luck has nothing to do with it, unless you are superstitious.

When you leave the party be sure to walk out the door where the horseshoe is turned upside down so any possible luck that remains will spill out, and you will be left with none at all. Don't break a leg when you do.

If you missed this opportunity to prove you are not superstitious, don't feel bad. Friday the 13th will come again in June and you will have another chance to dance with the devil if you dare.

How unlucky can you get?


Copyright 2013 Sheila Moss
 
 



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