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Meet the Columnist

Columnist, Sheila Moss, is humor writer from  Tennessee. She writes  a weekly human interest column about daily life and the funny things that happen to everyone.

   She has written for  the Daily News of Kingsport,   Griffin Journal, Oakridge Now, Atlanta Woman Magazine, Aberdeen Examiner, Angleton Advocate,  and Smyrna AM, a supplement of the Murfreesboro Daily News Journal. She has been published by Voyageur Press, McGraw Hill, and the good folks at Guidepost Books.  Her articles have appeared in numerous anthologies and other publications, both in print and online.

    She is a former board member and past  Editor of  the Columnists.com, website of  the National Society of Newspaper Columnists, the oldest and largest professional organization for columnists. She is the Web Editor of Southern
Humorists.com
  and  a founder of the Southern Humorists writers' organization. She is writer, editor, and webmaster of HumorColumnist.com

    To carry her weekly column in your newspaper, or to republish an article, please contact her. It's that easy. 

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Interview with Peter Cottontail....
 


Interview with Peter Cottontail

Today we have a special treat for you, an interview with a childhood favorite, the Easter Bunny.

Thank you for taking time from your busy schedule today. It's sad but some people do not believe in you. How do you feel about that?

I don't have time to worry about non believers. I have a lot to accomplish and must stay on task to get it all done. After all, children everywhere depend on me to bring Easter baskets.

That is quite a large responsibility, isn't it? Do you ever find it
overwhelming?


Oh, no, I'm up to the job or I wouldn't be the Easter Bunny. I do get last minute jitters when I see all those baskets in the warehouse, but once I get hopping, I'm okay.

How do you get so many baskets assembled in time?

We have a large crew of apprentice bunnies that work all year getting ready for the big event. We have basket weavers, egg decorators, candy makers. It's a mass assembly operation. You really would have to see it to believe it.

Where is your headquarters?

Sorry, I cannot disclose the exact location of Candy Land. We would never get done if we allowed visitors to come sniffing around. Let's just say it is somewhere down a rabbit hole. That's close enough.

Isn't it difficult to dye so many Easter eggs?

Actually, we have a crew of chickens that lay the eggs and decorate them. Some are very talented egg decorators and others cackle around all day. Thank goodness, we do not have to put up with as many chickens since plastic eggs came into vogue.

You mean chickens lay the eggs? I always thought Easter eggs were laid by bunnies.

Don't be ridiculous. Biology is what it is. Chickens lay eggs.

What about chocolate bunnies and marshmallow peeps, you must make a lot of those?

Chocolate bunnies are not as popular as they used to be - too messy. Parents want their kids to have solid chocolate eggs wrapped in colored foil, something that doesn't melt. Marshmallow chicks are out too. It's just as well. Those things were so gross even the chickens didn't like them.

Well, surely kids still like jelly beans? Easter isn't Easter without jelly
beans.


Yes, they are sticky, but we have to have something to go inside the plastic eggs. However, there has been a trend toward smaller gourmet jelly beans lately. I suspect the parents may be nipping on the jelly beans while the kids are busy hunting eggs.

Don't you hide the eggs?

Of course not, where would I get the time for that? I deliver the goods. The parents can do a little something.

Where do you leave the Easter baskets when you deliver them?

No set rule on that. Some kids wake up and find them in the bedroom. If I get behind schedule, I just set them on the front step and ring the doorbell. Some of my bunny helpers think it is fun to hide the basket and make a spoiled brat look for it.

You seem to be willing to stay in the background. Are you a modest rabbit?

It would be embarrassing if I had people watching or cameras following me around. I don't want a lot of attention or compliments. I just want to get the job done and hop on to the next one. It is the nature of rabbits to be a bit timid.

So you don't really want any credit?

Certainly not, remaining somewhat anonymous is the secret to my success. I am seldom seen, but kids always know I've been there.

Well, thanks again for the interview, Mr. Cottontail. By the way, would you mind putting a few extra gourmet jelly beans in my kids' baskets? They are delicious.


Copyright 2013 Sheila Moss
 
 



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