Moss, is humor writer from Tennessee. She writes a
weekly human interest column about daily life and the funny
things that happen to everyone.
She has written for the Daily News of Kingsport, Griffin Journal,
Oakridge Now, Atlanta Woman Magazine, Aberdeen Examiner, Angleton
Advocate, and Smyrna AM, a supplement of the Murfreesboro Daily News
Journal. She has been
published by Voyageur Press, McGraw Hill, and the good folks
at Guidepost Books. Her articles have appeared in
numerous anthologies and other publications, both in print and online.
She is a
former board member and past Editor of the Columnists.com, website of the National Society of Newspaper
oldest and largest professional organization
for columnists. She is the Web Editor of
Humorists.com and a founder of the Southern Humorists writers'
organization. She is writer, editor, and webmaster of HumorColumnist.com.
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Online Since 1999
Spring Break for a Columnist
Dear Department of Tourism:
I would like to tell you how much I
enjoyed my recent trip to Oklahoma City. I was there with a
hundred other writers for the Will Rogers Writers' Workshop. The
Hotel and Convention Center were really big. The next time I
come, I will bring some of those tennis shoes with wheels like
the kids wear.
People couldn't understand why I was visiting Oklahoma City.
"There's nothing to see there," they said. " I
know," I replied. I had never been to Oklahoma to visit and
just thought of it as a state to drive through on the way to
I saw lot of oil wells on the way there, which probably explains
where people get the money to spend at all those Indian
reservation casinos. I would like to explain that the time we
left I-40 and stopped at the Indian museum for directions was
because we were looking for a gas station, not a casino.
I would like you to thank the hotel for upgrading our room to a
suite with a living room, mini-bar, and two TV's. I couldn't
believe that they would give us a room that nice for the
convention price. I asked three times to be sure.
I've never stayed in such a fancy room and didn't know the
mini-fridge had sensors and charged it to your bill if you
touched anything. Simple folks like me don't usually stay in
luxury suites with $4 bottles of water. I nearly fainted when I
saw the bill and had to get an adjustment. Next time I'll just
take a plain room with no mini-fridge.
We had some great speakers at the convention. though. Dr. Doug
Watson did a great job with his witty impression of Will Rogers
and worked in some of Rogers' most well known quotes, such as,
"Everybody is ignorant, only on different things."
Seems like Will Rogers is about the best thing that Oklahoma
ever produced besides oil. He was an entertainer who could do
rope tricks, as well as a philosopher, journalist, author, and
humanitarian, although he called himself a humorist. "All I
know is what I read in the papers," he quipped.
My honey enjoyed the tourist sights around town while I went to
the convention. He liked the old historic district called "Bricktown"
and the way the canal, was dyed green for St. Patrick's Day. I
didn't get to see any of this as I was attending the convention.
Next convention I'm going as my own guest so I can see the
tourist sites too.
One thing I did get to see was the Memorial Site of the 1995
terrorist bombing of the Federal Building in Oklahoma. I
especially liked the large reflecting pool with gates at each
end, representing innocence prior to the bombing, and loss of
innocence afterwards. The ducks seemed to like this best too.
I learned a lot about the history of our country as well as
about writing. Craig Wilson, a columnist for USA Today told us
about a column that he wrote years ago about one shoe on the
side of the road. People still remember and write to him
whenever they see a shoe on the side of the road.
It is good to see other places, meet people, and learn more
about my craft. Still, when I came back home, the pear trees and
buttercups were in bloom, and the redbud trees were starting to
bud. There's no place quite like Tennessee in spring.
But, thanks to Craig Wilson, I couldn't quit looking for one
shoe on the side of the road all the way back home.
Copyright 2007 Sheila Moss
Nashville, TN 37219
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