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Meet the Columnist

Columnist, Sheila Moss, is humor writer from  Tennessee. She writes  a weekly human interest column about daily life and the funny things that happen to everyone.

   She has written for  the Daily News of Kingsport,   Griffin Journal, Oakridge Now, Atlanta Woman Magazine, Aberdeen Examiner, Angleton Advocate,  and Smyrna AM, a supplement of the Murfreesboro Daily News Journal. She has been published by Voyageur Press, McGraw Hill, and the good folks at Guidepost Books.  Her articles have appeared in numerous anthologies and other publications, both in print and online.

    She is a former board member and past  Editor of  the Columnists.com, website of  the National Society of Newspaper Columnists, the oldest and largest professional organization for columnists. She is the Web Editor of Southern
Humorists.com
  and  a founder of the Southern Humorists writers' organization. She is writer, editor, and webmaster of HumorColumnist.com

    To carry her weekly column in your newspaper, or to republish an article, please contact her. It's that easy. 

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Nothing to Do....
 


How to Have Nothing to Do

Everyone wants something to do on a long holiday weekend. Around here, they go to the lake, go to the mountains, or if that isn't possible, they go to local events. When I don't go out and have experiences, I have nothing to write about.

A few weekends ago, we had plenty of choices but not much incentive.

"So, what are we going to do this weekend?" asked my honey.

"I don't know; what is there to do?" I yawned.

There is a lot going on in the area that we could do. For example, the air show at the local airport. I just heard an announcement on TV. How could I have forgotten? When we go to the air show, we always get tickets in advance, buy snacks, and take lawn chairs. Maybe we can make it, but it will be a rush. The Blue Angels are flying. They are my favorite flying team. But it really looks like rain outside.

What does the weather report say: Rain both today and tomorrow. Who wants to go to an air show when it is raining? "Remember that one year when ..." How could I forget? It was rainy and cold. We were lucky that it didn't pour down, but it did mist and drizzle most of the time. They will not even perform the entire show with a low cloud ceiling. They have to modify it to be under the clouds where people can see it.

"What do you think? Should we take a chance?" said Honey. He had that I-want-go tone to his voice.

"What else is going on?" I less-than-enthusiastically replied.

Well, there is the steeplechase. That is a horse race where the horses jump over obstacles. Scratch that one. I'm really not into horse races. All the ladies horse up (pardon the expression) in their sundresses and sun hats and people tailgate. I'm not up for that, even if I had a sunhat to wear.

Well, it's May, there is the Renaissance Festival.

I don't think I want to go to the Renaissance Festival. We've been before. And what if it rains? I don't want to slosh around in mud all day. Not my idea of fun. Let's ask my grandson which one he would rather do? He was visiting for the weekend.

"What would you rather do, go to an air show or go to the Renaissance Festival," I asked. I was sure he would say air show. What kid wouldn't?

But, he wanted to go to the Renaissance Festival - sword fighting, magic shows, fire eaters. Probably some of his friends at school have been talking about it.

"This is the only weekend I can go, so it is now or not at all." My daughter chimed in. "Besides, it isn't raining yet and we can take umbrellas." Reminds me of going to London where it rains all the time.

"Do you want to go to the Renaissance Festival?" I asked Honey.

"No, do you?"

So my daughter and grandson went without us. I dug up a couple plastic ponchos, probably left over from England, and away they went.

It was getting pretty late by now, might as well forget about the air show. It will be half over by the time we get there.

As luck would have it, it didn't rain until late in the afternoon.

We procrastinated too long and ended up doing nothing.

How can I write a column about nothing?

I'm not sure. But I think I just did it.


Copyright 2012 Sheila Moss
 
 



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