Moss, is humor writer from Tennessee. She writes a
weekly human interest column about daily life and the funny
things that happen to everyone.
She has written for the Daily News of Kingsport, Griffin Journal,
Oakridge Now, Atlanta Woman Magazine, Aberdeen Examiner, Angleton
Advocate, and Smyrna AM, a supplement of the Murfreesboro Daily News
Journal. She has been
published by Voyageur Press, McGraw Hill, and the good folks
at Guidepost Books. Her articles have appeared in
numerous anthologies and other publications, both in print and online.
She is a
former board member and past Editor of the Columnists.com, website of the National Society of Newspaper
oldest and largest professional organization
for columnists. She is the Web Editor of
Humorists.com and a founder of the Southern Humorists writers'
organization. She is writer, editor, and webmaster of HumorColumnist.com.
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||Oh, My Aching Feet!...
We woke up to rain in morning. It rains a lot in London --
something about being an island surrounded by the sea, I think.
What would we do since it is raining, I wondered.
“Go anyhow, of course,” said my sister.
With raincoats and umbrellas, we were off to ride the
Underground again. We had tickets for a boat cruise on the
Thames River that was included in our bus tour. Couldn’t let
them go to waste, could we? Now I know why she wanted to
After that drenching experience, we went to the National Gallery
to dry out. We saw famous masterpieces by great French, Dutch,
and Italian artists. The English don’t paint many
masterpieces of their own.
It continued to rain so we then went to the National Portrait
Gallery where all the paintings were important people from
England who looked alike in wigs and fancy dress. I
hadn’t seen that much big hair before outside of Nashville.
We developed a severe case of museum feet and went to the crypt
at St.Martin-of-the-Fields church, which had been turned into a
restaurant. Boy, we were finding all the exciting hot spots.
It quit raining long enough for us to take pictures at nearby
Trafalgar Square, where other annoying tourists, also taking pictures of
the fountain, kept getting in the shots. So, we decided to leave and get
tickets for the theater.
There are good many theaters in London, and people seem to
attend as causally as we would go to a movie. The play we saw was a
musical with colorful costumes, but had a complex plot about the British
being run out of Afghanistan back in the olden days when they
though they owned it.
Our next day dawned cold and windy. We had tickets to tour
Parliament, the London landmark where Big Ben is. We were
allowed to go inside since Parliament was not in session,
however, we were not allowed to set in the seats since we were
We then went to Buckingham Palace. The Queen was not at
home, so we were allowed to view her public rooms -- for a
price. Someone had spray-painted all her furniture gold
while she is gone. She had a lot of red carpet to vacuum
and more paintings than the museum. Everything was very
gaudy, but I guess that’s what royals like.
We also saw the changing of the guards, which was guys in red
uniforms and big fuzzy hats marching around, sort of like the
“Nutcracker Suite” in real life. The guard only change
on even days of the calendar. I don’t know what they do on odd
Westminster Abby was another ancient church with dead queens and
kings and an interesting gothic architecture. Museums are
free, but it costs to tour the churches. We grabbed a sandwich
at their lunch counter and ate in a mausoleum again. We
seem to keep eating with dead people.
This was also the day we went to the British library, which had
original manuscripts of things you’ve only heard of, like The Magna
Charter and Beowulf. Hard to believe this stuff still exists and has
not disintegrated. There were also other remarkable historical documents like
original copies of lyrics by the Beetles.
They seem to encourage intellectual development in England, and
the people are all very literary. The museums were all free and
crowded. Everyone on the Underground read, even when
standing up. I saw more than one person with a classic
novel tucked under their arm.
There was a lot of walking and a lot of steps to climb. The more
you can walk, the more you can see. I would have given up my umbrella
for a good foot massage. In London, that’s a lot to give
Copyright 2005 Sheila Moss
Nashville, TN 37219
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