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Meet the Columnist

Columnist, Sheila Moss, is humor writer from  Tennessee. She writes  a weekly human interest column about daily life and the funny things that happen to everyone.

   She has written for  the Daily News of Kingsport,   Griffin Journal, Oakridge Now, Atlanta Woman Magazine, Aberdeen Examiner, Angleton Advocate,  and Smyrna AM, a supplement of the Murfreesboro Daily News Journal. She has been published by Voyageur Press, McGraw Hill, and the good folks at Guidepost Books.  Her articles have appeared in numerous anthologies and other publications, both in print and online.

    She is a former board member and past  Editor of  the Columnists.com, website of  the National Society of Newspaper Columnists, the oldest and largest professional organization for columnists. She is the Web Editor of Southern
Humorists.com
  and  a founder of the Southern Humorists writers' organization. She is writer, editor, and webmaster of HumorColumnist.com

    To carry her weekly column in your newspaper, or to republish an article, please contact her. It's that easy. 

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Week with Murphy....
 


A Week with Murphy

I am losing it… Why, you ask? Well, I've been keeping it together pretty well, all things considered, but that was before I got this cold, which seemed to cumulate yesterday with me being unable to breathe through my nose no matter how many Sudafed I took and how much nose spray I used.

Some weeks seem destined to be catastrophic. Murphy's Law kicks in and anything that can go wrong does. I seem to be attracting Murphy incidents this week like black pants attract cat hair.

Last week I found the refrigerator leaking again. I only pray I caught it soon enough this time to prevent the floor from buckling. I called the appliance repair service but they were closed on the weekend, of course, so I left a message.

Meanwhile, my daughter called from the hospital where she has had surgery twice this week. Her blood pressure is too low, she says. She was supposed to leave the hospital and move to inpatient rehab today, but she was too sick and nauseated, apparently because they overdosed her on laxatives.

Honey decided to get some carry-out soup for supper since we were both sick. However, his car broke down and he could only drive 30 mph. I didn't think it was safe for him to drive home as it might quit completely where he could not get off the road. So, I got dressed and went after him. We left his car parked on the Wal-Mart parking lot overnight until he could get it towed to the repair shop the next morning.

At the repair shop the next day, they gave him a loaner to drive, a tiny yellow car like a clown car. I kept feeling like it would buck up on the back wheels like those little cars at the circus. Guess I should not complain since it was free transportation. On the way home, we were stopped by police because the headlights were not on. Whoops, forgot they are not automatic on a clown car.

As if the refrigerator catastrophe was not enough, the plumbing decided to act out too. The shower is making a banging pipes noise. It has been going on for a while, but I've not had time to get it taken care of. Now it is so bad that I have to do something. I'm afraid it will shake the pipes loose and cause them to leak, if it has not already.

My stuffy head is hurting from lack of oxygen, but Tennessee has passed a crazy law that you can't get enough Sudafed to take even one pill a day. I will soon run out and can't get more for a year. Forget about being able to breathe… thanks to the governor and legislature who think people only buy Sudafed to make meth, not because they are sick and need medicine.

I forgot to mention that I broke the vacuum cleaner too. I accidently threw away the cloth bag that holds the disposable paper bag. Who knew there were two bags? Okay, I knew, but forgot. Murphy's Law, no doubt. The old guy at the vacuum repair shop will let us know if he can get a new bag for it.

I thought that everything that could happen had happened… until my car had a flat tire. Since I have run-flat tires (Thank God, not Murphy.), I drove it to the dealership to get it fixed. I thought it only needed nitrogen as I had been getting “low tire pressure” messages on the dash, but the tire had a nail in the side, damage that cannot be repaired. Also, one of the front tires had low tread, so I now I have to buy at least two new tires.

I know what you are thinking. These are all minor everyday problems that can be fixed. Things could be worse. My fear is that if Murphy finds out things can be worse that they will be.

 


Copyright 2014 Sheila Moss
 
 



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