Moss, is humor writer from Tennessee. She writes a
weekly human interest column about daily life and the funny
things that happen to everyone.
She has written for the Daily News of Kingsport, Griffin Journal,
Oakridge Now, Atlanta Woman Magazine, Aberdeen Examiner, Angleton
Advocate, and Smyrna AM, a supplement of the Murfreesboro Daily News
Journal. She has been
published by Voyageur Press, McGraw Hill, and the good folks
at Guidepost Books. Her articles have appeared in
numerous anthologies and other publications, both in print and online.
She is a
former board member and past Editor of the Columnists.com, website of the National Society of Newspaper
oldest and largest professional organization
for columnists. She is the Web Editor of
Humorists.com and a founder of the Southern Humorists writers'
organization. She is writer, editor, and webmaster of HumorColumnist.com.
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Online Since 1999
||Mrs. Claus Interview....
Interview with Mrs. Claus
Claus, we know you are very busy at this time of the year. We
would like to ask you a few questions to help people know you a
bit better. It has been said that behind every great man is a
Do you believe you contribute anything special as a woman?
I have a bit of women's intuition, but it is difficult to
anticipate which toys will be the hot toys of the season. I'd need
more than ESP to figure that out.
Do you prefer to be in the company of others?
I must admit that elves can wear on a person's nerves, always
wanting raises, holidays off, and threatening to strike during the
December rush. But for the most part, we all get along.
Do you tend to avoid social relationships?
I don't think Santa would like it much if I didn't. However, I
have been known to post on social networks like Facebook or do an
occasional Tweet. Does that count?
Do you think you take advantage of the elves or use them?
I beg your pardon. All our elves are here because they want to be
and they can leave at any time. Where else can they get cooking
like mine as a side benefit?
Are suspicious that people may be doing things behind your
I wouldn't last long if I was the suspicious type with Santa out
cavorting all over the country all night.
Do you tend to choose jobs that are below your skill level?
Heavens, no! It takes a lot of management skill, business
knowledge, and human relations skill to be an Assistant CEO. I
could stand up to scrutiny by anyone, even Donald Trump.
Are you considered a bit "eccentric" by other people?
Well, how many other people do you know, not counting Taylor Swift
and Santa, who are running around in boots and red velvet?
Have people accused you of being cruel to animals?
Oh, those PETA people are always saying we abuse the reindeer by
keeping them up all night and making them fly too far. But we
could never do it with a helicopter.
Are you prone to bouts of anger?
What has Santa told you anyhow? If those stupid elves would
remember their responsibilities instead of playing with the toys,
I wouldn't have to yell at them.
Do you consider yourself as having a strong need for approval?
Who doesn't like approval? People can be contrary and like to
complain, especially if the elves forget to include the batteries.
Do other people accuse you of being manipulative?
Santa can be stubborn as an ox at times. The only way to
manipulate someone like that is with a two by four.
Are you very afraid of being alone?
I sort of enjoy Christmas Eve when Santa is gone and I can have a
night without listening to him snore. Nothing around here to be
afraid of but polar bears and they only come around when they want
Have you ever done something that you could be put in jail for?
I did hit the eggnog a bit hard one year and try to drive the
sled, but the Mounties didn't press charges. Seems they have kids
too and felt like they owed us one.
Do you have a big fear of rejection?
Not unless kids start rejecting toys, and that isn't likely to
happen anytime soon. As far as Santa rejecting me, who else would
want a fat old elf with a beard?
Well, we are out of time now. Thanks again for the interview Mrs.
Claus. Here's my Christmas list. Would you mind passing it along
to Santa? I've highlighted the most important things. And thanks
for the cookie.
Copyright 2009 Sheila Moss
Nashville, TN 37219
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