Moss, is humor writer from Tennessee. She writes a
weekly human interest column about daily life and the funny
things that happen to everyone.
She has written for the Daily News of Kingsport, Griffin Journal,
Oakridge Now, Atlanta Woman Magazine, Aberdeen Examiner, Angleton
Advocate, and Smyrna AM, a supplement of the Murfreesboro Daily News
Journal. She has been
published by Voyageur Press, McGraw Hill, and the good folks
at Guidepost Books. Her articles have appeared in
numerous anthologies and other publications, both in print and online.
She is a
former board member and past Editor of the Columnists.com, website of the National Society of Newspaper
oldest and largest professional organization
for columnists. She is the Web Editor of
Humorists.com and a founder of the Southern Humorists writers'
organization. She is writer, editor, and webmaster of HumorColumnist.com.
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Online Since 1999
||Love It or List It....
Love It or List It
My daughter recorded a bunch of TV shows for me to watch that she
thought I might like. One of the shows with multiple episodes was
called "Love It or List It." A real estate agent tries to
find a new dream home within a budget and persuade a couple to move
while a decorator completely remodels their old home to entice them
After watching a dozen episodes, I began to notice all the things
wrong with my home that needed changing in order for me to love it.
I am totally out of style in my 25 year old house. Oh, I've done a
few upgrades, for example, stainless steel appliances only because
my old ones died one by one and had to be replaced.
Still, I found out by watching TV that I really need other things
that were on the list of every single couple. For example, did you
know that open concept kitchens are now in? Open concept means, the
kitchen, eating area and living room are combined. I am so outdated
that there is probably no hope. But the more shows I saw, the more I
wanted change, so I decided to do a few little things.
Obviously, the wall between the living room and kitchen must go at
my place. I made quite a mess with the chainsaw and forgot about not
taking out supporting walls, but the living room and kitchen are now
open concept, great for entertaining.
Did you know that you must have granite countertops in your kitchen
now, or even better, quartz? My butcher block that used to be so
stylish is now out. It was hard getting the counter tops off, even
with a crowbar, but I managed.
Of course, I really need a work island in the middle of the kitchen.
Everyone who is anyone has an island. But where will I put it? I
will have to get rid of the table to make room. I know, I will add a
sunroom and put the table out there. As soon as the contractor
arrives, I will get started.
As long as I am adding granite countertops, I might as well fix up
the bathrooms too. Sharing a bathroom is in, but sharing a lavatory
is out. Double sinks are the current trend, his and hers. It will
look great with a couple of those fancy bowls and a soaker tub. We
must have a soaker tub. Did I mention shower jets and a glass
enclosure? Those too.
While I'm waiting for the plumber, I think I will do something about
the man cave in my living room. That oversized entertainment center
is a relic. What is in now is a flat screen over the fireplace. I'll
just put it and the TV on Craigslist and see if I can get rid of it.
We will need to get a new TV pretty quickly, though, so I don't miss
any episodes of "Love It or List It."
That should about take care of the problem except for French doors
to new sunroom. Sliding doors are out, French doors are in. I don't
have a sliding door, but I can knock out a window or two. No
That's about all I can think of for now. I didn't
get to the attic, and that is unused space that could be utilized to
expand the living space, according to the HGTV home designer. Maybe
we could raise the ceiling and put in a skylight, very chic look.
In case you are wondering, no, I did not actually do any of this
except in my imagination. I guess I will continue to live in an
old-fashioned house with a kitchen wall. At least no one can see the
dirty dishes in the sink.
And if I win the lottery, I'm ready.
Copyright 2014 Sheila Moss
Nashville, TN 37219
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