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Meet the Columnist

Columnist, Sheila Moss, is humor writer from  Tennessee. She writes  a weekly human interest column about daily life and the funny things that happen to everyone.

   She has written for  the Daily News of Kingsport,   Griffin Journal, Oakridge Now, Atlanta Woman Magazine, Aberdeen Examiner, Angleton Advocate,  and Smyrna AM, a supplement of the Murfreesboro Daily News Journal. She has been published by Voyageur Press, McGraw Hill, and the good folks at Guidepost Books.  Her articles have appeared in numerous anthologies and other publications, both in print and online.

    She is a former board member and past  Editor of  the Columnists.com, website of  the National Society of Newspaper Columnists, the oldest and largest professional organization for columnists. She is the Web Editor of Southern
Humorists.com
  and  a founder of the Southern Humorists writers' organization. She is writer, editor, and webmaster of HumorColumnist.com

    To carry her weekly column in your newspaper, or to republish an article, please contact her. It's that easy. 

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Life's Little Lessons...
 


Life's Little Lessons about Christmas



Never buy a live Christmas tree unless you are a cat.

Christmas spirit is a mania created by commercial advertisers during October.

Itís the gift that counts Ė disregard any information to the contrary.

Christmas is not for children, itís to give teachers some time off.

Fashion experts say sweaters with Santa and holly are cheesy - 
which shows what a bunch of scrooges they are.

No matter how you put the Christmas lights away, they will be tangled next year. 
Itís a mysterious law of Christmas physics.

The best things in life are free Ė but department stores didnít get the memo.

Christmas gift bags and tissue paper are the best invention since peppermint candy.

Snow is best when left outside, but preferably not on the driveway.

The best time to shop for decorations is after Christmas, but who wants them then?

The more your child wants a toy, the greater the likelihood every store is sold out.

Regardless of what toy you want, the next shipment will not be until January.

Give children plastic gift cards and see how carefully they spend their own money.

There is always room for another stuffed animal Ė at least in a grandparentís opinion.

Wal-mart is the gift shop of last resort for the entire the population of the U.S.

Regardless of the number of parking places, they will all be taken when you get there.

Santa Claus really doesnít care whether you are naughty or nice. 
He has other things to worry about.

You always get Christmas cards from the people that you didnít send one to.

There is no problem too great for a solution; however, there are many gifts too large for boxes.

Other peopleís gifts to you always seem much nicer than what you gave them Ė and vice versa.

Contrary to popular opinion, North Pole is in Oklahoma, Santa Claus is in Indiana, 
and Christmas is in Florida. Depressing, isnít it?

Silent night is something that happens on Christmas Eve to other peopleís children.

Childrenís TV specials are like Santa, on perpetual rerun year after year.

White Christmas is a phenomena invented by songwriters to make songs nostalgic.

There is no such thing as a perfect Christmas, especially if you forgot the batteries.


Copyright 2002 Sheila Moss
 
 



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