Moss, is humor writer from Tennessee. She writes a
weekly human interest column about daily life and the funny
things that happen to everyone.
She has written for the Daily News of Kingsport, Griffin Journal,
Oakridge Now, Atlanta Woman Magazine, Aberdeen Examiner, Angleton
Advocate, and Smyrna AM, a supplement of the Murfreesboro Daily News
Journal. She has been
published by Voyageur Press, McGraw Hill, and the good folks
at Guidepost Books. Her articles have appeared in
numerous anthologies and other publications, both in print and online.
She is a
former board member and past Editor of the Columnists.com, website of the National Society of Newspaper
oldest and largest professional organization
for columnists. She is the Web Editor of
Humorists.com and a founder of the Southern Humorists writers'
organization. She is writer, editor, and webmaster of HumorColumnist.com.
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Online Since 1999
The Kitchen Tree
are beginning to post pictures of Christmas trees on Facebook. A few
early birds even posted trees before Thanksgiving. I do not have a
tree and am procrastinating the task, as usual. However, I am
beginning to feel guilty about my lack of Christmas spirit. Whatís
wrong with me anyhow?
used to blame a lack of Christmas spirit on being forced to do
Christmas shopping with the crowds and all the stress involved. Now,
I do not shop anymore, or at least not in regular stores. Granny
Gift Card is my middle name and Cyber-shopping Mamma is my nickname.
name should be PayPal Grandma. Since my grandkids found out about
iTunes, they do not care about gifts or even gift cards. Now they
only want money for their PayPal account. Did you know online game
sites will accept only a real Visa card, not a Visa gift card? Ask a
teenager if you donít believe me. At least PayPal is easy.
may think it would be a relief not to have to shop, but shopping has
become so much a part of the American Christmas celebration that it
is difficult to get in the spirit without it. After all, it is the
stores that decorate for Christmas in October and play non-stop
Christmas carols. Commercialism is the subliminal voice of
finally had my son bring down part of the decorations from the
attic, the box with my Santa figurines. I have dozens of antique
Santaís. Donít worry; I didnít rob the bank to pay for my
collection. I found 99 percent of them at thrift shops. I have a
hard time passing one by, but Iíve had to become a bit more
selective lately. After all, there is only so much room on the
mantel. My hobby is already starting to overflow into the rest of
looking at the box for several days, I finally opened it and took
out the figures. Seeing them made me feel a bit more motivated.
Maybe I will put up a tree after all. My granddaughter will help me
decorate it. The cats will help me undecorated it, but Iíll try
not to think about that partÖ at least for a while.
main problem is figuring out where to put the tree. Some people have
nice big windows where they always put the tree. I am not one of
those people. In todayís smaller homes, a place for a tree can be
hard to find, even a small tree. I usually squeeze it into the
living room, but it really does make the house seem crowded.
can it go? A bedroom? No one would see it in a bedroom. The
bathroom? Donít be ridiculous. Where would it go, in the shower?
The garage? I thought I said donít be ridiculous. The kitchen?
Thatís it; Iíll try the kitchen this year. Seems like a good
idea since I will not have a lot of gifts to put under it anyhow.
This will be a first. I donít think Iíve ever had a kitchen tree
before. Iím starting to get excited.
Christmas will be a little less than traditional this year, but
rules were made to be broken. I didnít cook a large dinner at
Thanksgiving this year, so I plan to go all out and roast a turkey
with trimmings. A tree in the kitchen should be perfect.
knows, maybe Iíll start a new trend.
Copyright 2014 Sheila Moss
Nashville, TN 37219
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