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Meet the Columnist

Columnist, Sheila Moss, is humor writer from  Tennessee. She writes  a weekly human interest column about daily life and the funny things that happen to everyone.

   She has written for  the Daily News of Kingsport,   Griffin Journal, Oakridge Now, Atlanta Woman Magazine, Aberdeen Examiner, Angleton Advocate,  and Smyrna AM, a supplement of the Murfreesboro Daily News Journal. She has been published by Voyageur Press, McGraw Hill, and the good folks at Guidepost Books.  Her articles have appeared in numerous anthologies and other publications, both in print and online.

    She is a former board member and past  Editor of  the Columnists.com, website of  the National Society of Newspaper Columnists, the oldest and largest professional organization for columnists. She is the Web Editor of Southern
Humorists.com
  and  a founder of the Southern Humorists writers' organization. She is writer, editor, and webmaster of HumorColumnist.com

    To carry her weekly column in your newspaper, or to republish an article, please contact her. It's that easy. 

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Jack Frost....
 


Chillin' Out with Jack Frost

In view of the weather we have been experiencing lately in the U.S., we have decided to bring you an extra special feature, an interview with the legendary Jack Frost, the personification of snow, sleet, ice and cold weather. 

Hello Jack, Is it okay if I call you that? 

Sure, I've been called much worse. 

Okay, we have been experiencing some very unusual amounts of snow in the U.S. this season. Is there any particular reason for so much snow? 

Yes, I've done some of my best work this year. Some years just fizzle out and there is hardly any snow at all, but this year things have really come together. I've set some all-time records this year. Take Boston, for instance. 

Since you brought it up, what is the deal with Boston? They always have snow of course, but this year they rival Buffalo with a record-setting winter of over 100 inches. 

They are supposed to be hardy New Englanders, so I figured I'd see exactly how hardy they are. Oh, sure some people complained… whiners… but others have gotten into the spirit and are diving out second story windows into snow drifts. Not exactly what I intended, but there is no explaining people. 

Speaking of Buffalo, why do you always dump on Buffalo? 

Well, I get a bit of help from the lake there. They call it lake-effect snow. It's wonderful, 87 inches so far this year and even more in Syracuse. Of course, there are other places that get an extraordinary amount of snow and cold weather too. 

What other places are you referring to? 

Well, International Falls, Minnesota, is a favorite of mine. I can always unload there. Funny, they seem to hardly notice and just keep going. It isn't half as much fun as a place where they complain about minor annoyances, such as snowed-under parking places. 

Anywhere else you would like to mention? 

I suppose you consider Alaska part of the U.S.? When I get up above the Arctic Circle, it is practically like being in my own garden. The most northern city in the U.S. is Barrow, Alaska, where I often create white-out conditions. But, it is much more fun to zap a place that is not used to it. 

Like the southern U.S, for instance? 

Exactly, last week I rolled through Alabama like an avalanche and left them flat. They didn't know what hit them. Of course, Atlanta last year was a supreme disaster, a mere 3 inches and I shut down the city. The interstates were parking lots. 

You are a bit devilish, aren't you? 

Just enjoy my work, that's all. 

So, where is the place in the U.S. with the worst weather? 

Believe it or not, it is Mt. Washington in N.H. Three weather patterns converge there to create hurricane force winds and snow blowing sideways, an average of 280 inches in a season.  No one can survive the winters except a few scientific types with special structures where they study the weather. It is such a horribly wonderful place that it almost makes me feel guilty… ALMOST, I said. 

There are a few places that actually want snow, like ski resorts. Do you plan to bring any more white stuff to Colorado this year? 

I thought I would leave them wanting for a while. Naturally, it is nice when someone appreciates what you do, but can't let down my guard too much. Can't have everyone out having fun skiing, sledding, and building snowmen. I have a reputation to uphold. 

Well, this has been interesting, but I better end this interview now. I'm starting to get frostbite. 

So, that's it folks. This has been your winter weather report. If you feel a bit of a chill in the air, it is most likely Jack Frost out and at it again.

 


Copyright 2015 Sheila Moss
 
 



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