flipped through channels until I found the weather report, and then
settled back to see what new catastrophe was expected. Somehow
weather news is never good news. It is going to be too hot, too
cold, too windy, or is going to rain.
More snow for the Northeast," proclaimed the
weatherman, as if we care about the Northeast. What about the local
area? What can we expect here, right here?
About that time, Weather Bimbo interrupted.
"Oh, they get all the snow up there. When are we going to get
She wants snow? She must be crazy. I can understand
when kids want snow. The schools will close; they can go outside to
sled and build a snowman. Yes, snow is a good thing when you are a
kid. But when you grow up, it is a different matter entirely.
Ahoy there, blonde weather person with snowflakes
for eyes. I like snow too. I have lived in the North where we got
all the snow your little heart could possibly desire. You would love
it in New England. Why don't you move?
Yes, I remember how much I loved snow, how it snowed
in September and we might not see the ground again until May. There
was a lot of snow to love.
I remember how the snow would blow and drift against
the garage door so that it had to be shoveled before I could get the
car out. It was such fun to shovel the driveway until my back almost
broke only to have the snowplow come by and throw a mountain of
frozen snow and ice chunks back on it.
I did not dare drive on the driveway before it was
shoveled as the packed snow would freeze into ice that would be
there until spring. Yes, just getting out of the driveway was
a glorious snow-filled experience.
If we were lucky and the snowplow found our street,
we could actually drive on the icy roads, provided one knew how to
stop a fishtail spin and the person behind you didn't skid into the
rear of your car. Weather Bimbo would love the icy roads, just
like ice skating except in an automobile.
Snow Bimbo would enjoy leaving work, or anywhere for
that matter, and finding her car covered with snow. She could have
the fun of brushing, sweeping and scraping until the windshield and
headlights were cleared. Hope she doesn't forget the tailpipe or she
could die of carbon monoxide poisoning while waiting for the car to
Weather Girl would soon find that getting stuck when
you park is pretty much the norm as parking places are seldom
plowed. Hope she remembered to keep snowbrushes, an ice scraper, a
bag of sand, cardboard, and a shovel in the trunk.
Weather Bimbo probably thinks that streets are
plowed and salted -- and they are, at least the main roads. Roads
can still become impassable when it is snowing and hours instead of
minutes can be spent commuting only a short distance. I'm sure she
Weather Bimbo should move to New England, where even
the hardiest people are sick of having to clean snow off the roof to
prevent it from collapsing and cars left at the curb are buried
under so much snow they may not be found until spring.
"There is a possibility of snow next
Monday," said the weatherman. By that he means a trace or maybe
a half inch of white stuff.
I have an idea. Weather Bimbo should move north for
a year or two and see what winter is really like. She would learn to
hate snow just as much as the rest of us do.