A husband has the solution for any problem. It may not work,
but he has a solution.
Only ask your husband to do something once, he wonít hear
you after that anyhow.
Your husband knows you best, but you know him better.
The more you pay for a new dress, the greater the probability
you will forget to remove the price tag.
The most powerful motivator known to man is the smell of a
steak on the grill.
The more you nag him, the greater the probability that you
If you think you have any secrets from your husband, remember
why he buys you negligees.
Never tell your husband you have nothing to do. He will ask
you to bring him a beer.
If you want him to give up golf, learn to play it.
If you need an item you canít find, ask your husband. He
wonít have it either, but he will know who to borrow it from.
If you want something new, your husband can always figure out
why you donít need it.
You canít out procrastinate your husband; donít even try.
Your husband can always come up with a better way to do
something, especially after itís already done.
Never complain about the movie until after he buys the
If he offers to take you out, his good suit will always be in
No matter how long youíve been on a diet, your husband will
still take you out to an Italian restaurant.
Never forget who puts up with your faults. Thatís something
else to worry about.
Never say you can do it yourself, unless you are planning on
The more expensive the gift he gives you, the more you will
wonder what heís been up to.
Anything is a good idea until he mentions it to his mother.
A husbandís "honey do" list has no beginning and
His turf is always the exact spot where you need to vacuum
You will always need to use the car before he does if the gas
tank is empty.
The older your husband becomes, the more he acts like a
The longer itís been since you cleaned house, the more
likely it is that he will invite company for dinner.
No matter how big he is, he is never too big to wrap around
your little finger.
The more you detest the plaid shirt, the more often he will
The longer the story heís telling, the more likely youíve
already heard it.
Husbands always know everything Ė they just sometimes have
The grass gets mowed on two occasions, when it needs it and
when you want him to do something else.
Your husband is the only person that knows you better than
the bathroom mirror.
Womenís intuition is the only thing more mysterious than
the male ego.
The reason your husband wonít turn down the TV is because
he canít hear you asking.
The more you try to stay on his good side, the harder it is
to make up the bed in the morning.
If you canít remember whether your husband told you he
would be home late, he will.
Never criticize your husband about anything that involves a
hammer, saw, or screwdriver.