Moss, is humor writer from Tennessee. She writes a
weekly human interest column about daily life and the funny
things that happen to everyone.
She has written for the Daily News of Kingsport, Griffin Journal,
Oakridge Now, Atlanta Woman Magazine, Aberdeen Examiner, Angleton
Advocate, and Smyrna AM, a supplement of the Murfreesboro Daily News
Journal. She has been
published by Voyageur Press, McGraw Hill, and the good folks
at Guidepost Books. Her articles have appeared in
numerous anthologies and other publications, both in print and online.
She is a
former board member and past Editor of the Columnists.com, website of the National Society of Newspaper
oldest and largest professional organization
for columnists. She is the Web Editor of
Humorists.com and a founder of the Southern Humorists writers'
organization. She is writer, editor, and webmaster of HumorColumnist.com.
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Online Since 1999
Helpful Service at the Hardware
The other day I went to Home Depot and several associates actually
asked me if I needed help. In the past I have suspected them of
avoiding customers because they don't know where anything is either.
Maybe they are trying to improve customer service?
I really wish retailers would have a map for those big box stores like
they do at the mall. It would greatly simplify shopping. The place is
as big as New York City and what I am looking for is usually about the
size of a screw, exactly the size of a screw, in fact.
Remember when you could go to a hardware store and buy only what you
needed? Now you have a buy a package to get one or two. Of course, you
can save the extras for next time, if there is a next time, and if you
can find the leftover package next time. I always end up buying
another pack as it is easier. I could start a hardware store of my own
But to get back to the reason I was there, I needed four brass cabinet
knobs and two key-type knobs. I had already checked online and found
exactly what I wanted, but when I got to the store, it was not in
"You can order it online," said the helpful sales person, as
if I didn't know. I was trying to avoid the wait and the shipping
charges. However, if you have stuff delivered to the store, there is
no shipping charge.
I went home and placed my order. The two key knobs came immediately,
but the other four didn't. I waited and waited; a week went by; 10
days went by. Just my luck, they lost the order, I thought; but that
very day I received an email that my order had arrived.
I went to the store to pick it up. They couldn't find the package. The
clerk looked everywhere and finally called the manager. I was tired of
waiting and needed some cabinet latches too, so I told the clerk I
would shop while they were looking.
"Where are cabinet latches?" "
Aisle 16." I couldn't find Aisle 16, much less a cabinet latch. I
asked someone who was putting up stock.
"I don't know," he said. ( I knew it.) Well, at least he was
"Me either," I replied.
I wandered around for a while until someone pointed me in the right
direction. I finally found what I was looking for and then went back
to see if my knobs had been found. "I'm sorry, we can't find the
order," the manager told me. "However, I will reorder."
She must have noted my twitching eyebrows and purple face. "I
will have it sent express mail, she added, and I will not charge you
I had been there so long that I was running late for a dental
appointment, so I went through the self-check with my magnetic
latches, and wheeled out of the parking lot. Halfway home, my cell
phone rang. It was the manager at Home Depot. "We found your
order," she said.
"Sorry, I can't come back now." I was getting ready to say I
would come back later, but she surprised me by saying that she would
bring the order to my home. Imagine that! Well, why not let her, I
thought. "Okay, that will be great!"
When I got home from the dentist, the bag was hanging on the door. I
really couldn't believe it, but it actually happened, free cabinet
knobs and free home delivery. So, I might start shopping there more
I would still like to have that map, though, and one of those scooters
like Wal-Mart has as long as I'm wishing.
Copyright 2014 Sheila Moss
Nashville, TN 37219
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