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Meet the Columnist

Columnist, Sheila Moss, is humor writer from  Tennessee. She writes  a weekly human interest column about daily life and the funny things that happen to everyone.

   She has written for  the Daily News of Kingsport,   Griffin Journal, Oakridge Now, Atlanta Woman Magazine, Aberdeen Examiner, Angleton Advocate,  and Smyrna AM, a supplement of the Murfreesboro Daily News Journal. She has been published by Voyageur Press, McGraw Hill, and the good folks at Guidepost Books.  Her articles have appeared in numerous anthologies and other publications, both in print and online.

    She is a former board member and past  Editor of  the Columnists.com, website of  the National Society of Newspaper Columnists, the oldest and largest professional organization for columnists. She is the Web Editor of Southern
Humorists.com
  and  a founder of the Southern Humorists writers' organization. She is writer, editor, and webmaster of HumorColumnist.com

    To carry her weekly column in your newspaper, or to republish an article, please contact her. It's that easy. 

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The Heaven Eye...
   

The Heaven Eye

I didnít like it. 

I ordered it over the internet and when it finally came, I didnít like it. I had found these necklaces with a pendant called a Heaven Eye. They were Oriental and took their unusual name from the design that looks somewhat like an actual eye.

ďA Heaven Eye amulet will keep away the Evil Eye and bring you good luck.Ē said the description. I could always use more luck, but mostly I liked the unusual exotic design.

I had about decided on a blue-grey traditional design when I spotted one made of rustic looking clay with the eye design scratched into the surface instead of being molded. It was only a bead and not a necklace, but I thought I could put it on jute string myself. So, I bid a whole 99 cents.

Naturally, I won the auction. Who else would bid on such a strange item? It was a bargain if you didnít consider the $7 shipping charge from China. I waited weeks until it finally arrivedÖ and now that itís here, I donít like it.

Sellers will usually return the selling price of an item, but not the shipping charge. It wasnít worth paying postage to return a 99 cent item to China, so I figured I was out of luck -- what the Heaven Eye was supposed to bring me in the first place, remember?

When I looked at the picture again I could see the imperfections in the design. I had not looked close enough and had seen what I wanted to see instead of what was there. I decided to write the seller and tell him I was disappointed.

I tried to be as polite and businesslike as possible, saying there were numerous imperfections and a chip that could not be seen in the picture.

Then I received a reply email. He was sorry I was disappointed and was selling the items cheaply to let people know about the Tibetan Buddha culture. It was more for friendship than business, but he would return my monies.

Oh, no, why does he have to be so nice? I could picture a monk with a shaved head sitting cross-legged, chanting and selling a few Heaven Eyes on eBay to earn money for the poor.

Why are Chinese people always so polite?

What a jerk I am, I thought.

ďI will keep the pendant as a gesture of friendship and not worry about the small flaws. Friendship and good luck are more important than money.Ē I typed back.

The front side looked pretty good and might be able to cover the chip with the knot in the string, so I could still use it even if it was less than perfect. 

I was feeling much better when another email popped up. ďIf you want buy two more items, I will combine shipping and give you $8 discount.Ē

That seemed like a very good deal until I thought about it. I looked at the items and they were much nicer than the one I had ordered, but I really didnít need three Heaven Eyes. I had one too many already.

Besides, he was beginning to sound more like a merchant than a monk.

When you buy something you donít need because it is on sale, are you really saving money? I decided to pass on the offer, but I didnít have the courage to email him back. I didnít want to seem rude after he had had been so polite.

I am still waiting for the pendant to start bringing me luck. I wonder if you have to wear it or if it can bring luck from the dresser drawer?


Copyright 2008 Sheila Moss

 
 



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