Moss, is humor writer from Tennessee. She writes a
weekly human interest column about daily life and the funny
things that happen to everyone.
She has written for the Daily News of Kingsport, Griffin Journal,
Oakridge Now, Atlanta Woman Magazine, Aberdeen Examiner, Angleton
Advocate, and Smyrna AM, a supplement of the Murfreesboro Daily News
Journal. She has been
published by Voyageur Press, McGraw Hill, and the good folks
at Guidepost Books. Her articles have appeared in
numerous anthologies and other publications, both in print and online.
She is a
former board member and past Editor of the Columnists.com, website of the National Society of Newspaper
oldest and largest professional organization
for columnists. She is the Web Editor of
Humorists.com and a founder of the Southern Humorists writers'
organization. She is writer, editor, and webmaster of HumorColumnist.com.
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Online Since 1999
||Haunted Home Tour....
The Haunted Home Tour
have invited you here today for our Open House and Home Tour of this prime piece
of real estate. It is an excellent buy, and we would like to get a little life
back into this house and get the market moving.
First of all, we will view the foyer. Don't worry about the splattered wallpaper
-- that can always be changed. Notice the lovely carpeting. The former owners
favored a red color. We are not sure why. You will find elegant blood-red
carpets throughout the house.
Entering the main living area, you will notice the beautiful oil paintings
hanging on the wall. We donít know who the people in the paintings are.
Probably they are all dead anyhow, so donít worry about it.
There is a slight draft in here that makes it a bit chilly at this time of the
year, but think how pleasant it will be during the hot summer months. It's
probably just a back draft from the fireplace, donít you think?
You will notice that the mirrors in the house create an illusion of shadows
moving about the rooms.
Remember that it is only a reflection and nothing at all that we need to be
The previous owner left the beautiful grand piano that you see by the bay
windows. This piano can
practically play itself. In fact, some people believe they have heard it doing
so, but it must have been
their imagination as it always stops whenever someone comes to investigate.
The beautiful grandfather clock is not running, and you will need to have it
repaired; however, it is a
priceless antique and is included with the home. You may notice that all of the
clocks in the house have stopped at midnight. Probably they just need to be
wound and reset.
From the dining room there is a beautiful view of the garden. You will love the
beautiful lilies and the
view of the bottomless lake. We also have wildlife. There are many caves in this
area, and you may enjoy seeing the bats flying out of them at dusk.
The kitchen has been totally remodeled and has all the latest conveniences. The
former owner collected kitchen knives and you can see that much of the fabulous
collection remains. The pantry has meat hooks that will work well for hanging
pots and pans. Notice the interesting antique marble floor with names and dates
carved on some of the tiles.
Up the staircase we will find the bedrooms. Don't mind if there are few cobwebs
hanging here and there. The place hasn't been cleaned in a while. It doesnít
get many visitors. Apparently someone is looking after it, though, as there are
faint footprints in the dust.
This back bedroom belonged to the ownerís daughter, who unfortunately passed
away in a tragic accident when she fell down the stairs. The stairs to the
basement are very dark and steep so we never take our clients down there unless
they are deadly serious about making this house their permanent residence.
And that concludes our tour of this home. The owner is very anxious to sell and
will consider almost any reasonable offer. You are welcome to hang around as
long as you want. Our real estate company will not be responsible for accidents
-- especially after dark.
Copyright 2005 Sheila Moss
Nashville, TN 37219
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