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Meet the Columnist

Columnist, Sheila Moss, is humor writer from  Tennessee. She writes  a weekly human interest column about daily life and the funny things that happen to everyone.

   She has written for  the Daily News of Kingsport,   Griffin Journal, Oakridge Now, Atlanta Woman Magazine, Aberdeen Examiner, Angleton Advocate,  and Smyrna AM, a supplement of the Murfreesboro Daily News Journal. She has been published by Voyageur Press, McGraw Hill, and the good folks at Guidepost Books.  Her articles have appeared in numerous anthologies and other publications, both in print and online.

    She is a former board member and past  Editor of  the Columnists.com, website of  the National Society of Newspaper Columnists, the oldest and largest professional organization for columnists. She is the Web Editor of Southern
Humorists.com
  and  a founder of the Southern Humorists writers' organization. She is writer, editor, and webmaster of HumorColumnist.com

    To carry her weekly column in your newspaper, or to republish an article, please contact her. It's that easy. 

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Too Much Baseball....
 


Too Much Baseball

athletes,athletics,baseball,baseball players,competitions,games,gloves,leisure,males,men,people,persons,recreation,shortstops,sportsI hate baseball. Yes, I know that's un-American. I can't help it. Actually, I have not always hated baseball. I used to hate only football, but now I've had to add another sport to my hate list.

I used to like baseball, believe it or not. When I lived in St. Louis, we would go to a game occasionally and keep up with how the team was doing. That was in the good old days when it was an occasional diversion.

No more.

Now the "good old days" are every single day since we have the baseball sports package on cable TV. I thought football was distressing because they played every weekend, college on Saturday and professional on Sunday. But baseball is much worse. They play every day, every basted day, and the games last forever.

I asked honey why they play every day. He told me they do have days off. "But they are playing 10 games straight right now."

I thought so.

"It isn't always the same teams playing," he said, like it matters.

Being from Pittsburgh, once upon a time, he is a Pirates fan. Being from St. Louis, once upon a time, my son is a Cardinals fan. Baseball seems to have one thing in common with football. You root for the team from the city where you used to live.

I suppose it makes a little more sense for baseball than football since we do not have a local baseball team, thank God. Well, we do have minor league ball, but they are not on television. Thank God again.

Every evening is consumed with baseball on television. I can't stand it. It is always the same thing, grown men playing a child's game and getting paid an extraordinary salary to do so. This is interesting for about 10 minutes, but the game goes on for hours all evening long. I have to leave the room to keep from going insane.

Imagine what a Martian would think about baseball. "Young men are paid to hit a ball with a stick and run around a field, and fat old people pay money to watch them and imagine they are part of the team because they are a fan."

They call baseball the great American pastime. Americans like the game so well, that they organize teams for children. They say it teaches sportsmanship. Sportsmanship means not getting mad when your team loses, or bragging when they win. What's the point?

Well, I'm not a Martian and I can understand sports as entertainment, but I can't understand needing to be entertained every day by the same stupid game that is basically always the same thing, hitting balls and running bases. Of course, there are departures. Sometimes there are home runs, stolen bases, or double plays, which shows how boring the game is as even the slightest variation is a reason for excitement.

I get a reprise today as the game will be played in the early afternoon instead of the evening and we will not be home from work in time to watch it. "We can listen to the end of it on the radio on the way home," says honey.

Goody.

The television has been consumed by baseball. The living room has been consumed by baseball. My life has been consumed by baseball. It is too much of a good thing.

Why is that men like competitive things like baseball instead of a good drama or a reality program? Why is it that men want to spend every free minute glued to the TV watching sports? God only knows. I sure don't.

I would pray for a player's strike or a power outage, but if God is a man, he probably wouldn't hear my desperation. He would be busy watching a ballgame.


Copyright 2012 Sheila Moss
 
 



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