Moss, is humor writer from Tennessee. She writes a
weekly human interest column about daily life and the funny
things that happen to everyone.
She has written for the Daily News of Kingsport, Griffin Journal,
Oakridge Now, Atlanta Woman Magazine, Aberdeen Examiner, Angleton
Advocate, and Smyrna AM, a supplement of the Murfreesboro Daily News
Journal. She has been
published by Voyageur Press, McGraw Hill, and the good folks
at Guidepost Books. Her articles have appeared in
numerous anthologies and other publications, both in print and online.
She is a
former board member and past Editor of the Columnists.com, website of the National Society of Newspaper
oldest and largest professional organization
for columnists. She is the Web Editor of
Humorists.com and a founder of the Southern Humorists writers'
organization. She is writer, editor, and webmaster of HumorColumnist.com.
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Online Since 1999
||Too Much Baseball....
Too Much Baseball
hate baseball. Yes, I know that's un-American. I can't help it.
Actually, I have not always hated baseball. I used to hate only
football, but now I've had to add another sport to my hate list.
I used to like baseball, believe it or not. When I lived in St.
Louis, we would go to a game occasionally and keep up with how
the team was doing. That was in the good old days when it was an
Now the "good old days" are every single day since we
have the baseball sports package on cable TV. I thought football
was distressing because they played every weekend, college on
Saturday and professional on Sunday. But baseball is much worse.
They play every day, every basted day, and the games last
I asked honey why they play every day. He told me they do have
days off. "But they are playing 10 games straight right
I thought so.
"It isn't always the same teams playing," he said,
like it matters.
Being from Pittsburgh, once upon a time, he is a Pirates fan.
Being from St. Louis, once upon a time, my son is a Cardinals
fan. Baseball seems to have one thing in common with football.
You root for the team from the city where you used to live.
I suppose it makes a little more sense for baseball than
football since we do not have a local baseball team, thank God.
Well, we do have minor league ball, but they are not on
television. Thank God again.
Every evening is consumed with baseball on television. I can't
stand it. It is always the same thing, grown men playing a
child's game and getting paid an extraordinary salary to do so.
This is interesting for about 10 minutes, but the game goes on
for hours all evening long. I have to leave the room to keep
from going insane.
Imagine what a Martian would think about baseball. "Young
men are paid to hit a ball with a stick and run around a field,
and fat old people pay money to watch them and imagine they are
part of the team because they are a fan."
They call baseball the great American pastime. Americans like
the game so well, that they organize teams for children. They
say it teaches sportsmanship. Sportsmanship means not getting
mad when your team loses, or bragging when they win. What's the
Well, I'm not a Martian and I can understand sports as
entertainment, but I can't understand needing to be entertained
every day by the same stupid game that is basically always the
same thing, hitting balls and running bases. Of course, there
are departures. Sometimes there are home runs, stolen bases, or
double plays, which shows how boring the game is as even the
slightest variation is a reason for excitement.
I get a reprise today as the game will be played in the early
afternoon instead of the evening and we will not be home from
work in time to watch it. "We can listen to the end of it
on the radio on the way home," says honey.
The television has been consumed by baseball. The living room
has been consumed by baseball. My life has been consumed by
baseball. It is too much of a good thing.
Why is that men like competitive things like baseball instead of
a good drama or a reality program? Why is it that men want to
spend every free minute glued to the TV watching sports? God
only knows. I sure don't.
I would pray for a player's strike or a power outage, but if God
is a man, he probably wouldn't hear my desperation. He would be
busy watching a ballgame.
Copyright 2012 Sheila Moss
Nashville, TN 37219
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