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Meet the Columnist

Columnist, Sheila Moss, is humor writer from  Tennessee. She writes  a weekly human interest column about daily life and the funny things that happen to everyone.

   She has written for  the Daily News of Kingsport,   Griffin Journal, Oakridge Now, Atlanta Woman Magazine, Aberdeen Examiner, Angleton Advocate,  and Smyrna AM, a supplement of the Murfreesboro Daily News Journal. She has been published by Voyageur Press, McGraw Hill, and the good folks at Guidepost Books.  Her articles have appeared in numerous anthologies and other publications, both in print and online.

    She is a former board member and past  Editor of  the Columnists.com, website of  the National Society of Newspaper Columnists, the oldest and largest professional organization for columnists. She is the Web Editor of Southern
Humorists.com
  and  a founder of the Southern Humorists writers' organization. She is writer, editor, and webmaster of HumorColumnist.com

    To carry her weekly column in your newspaper, or to republish an article, please contact her. It's that easy. 

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HumorColumnist.com
Online Since 1999

Haircut....
 

GET A HAIRCUT

Do you need someone's opinion?
Get a haircut.
Do you want some criticism?
Get a haircut.
If you really want it,
And intend to not condone it,
And never will bemoan it.
Get a haircut.

Do you want some shorter tresses?
Get a haircut.
Say goodbye to big hair messes
Get a haircut.
If your budget can't do Pravda,
And you think you really oughta
Do what you know you gotta,
Get a haircut.

Do you want some sideways glances?
Get a haircut.
Do you dream of new romances?
Get a haircut.
Do you feel a little miffed?
Could you use a major lift?
Let imagination drift.
Get a haircut.

Do your friends nitpick too much
About your haircut?
Do they notice when you blush
About your haircut?
Do you wish that they would drop it,
Try a little less to mock it,
And pretend you never got it,
A new haircut.

Have you had too much attention
Since your haircut?
Do you wish no one would mention
Your new haircut?
Could they just leave you alone,
And let your life go on
Without comments, smirks, and groans
About your haircut?

To find out who your friends are,
Get a haircut.
They will sometimes go too far
About a haircut.
People simply can't resist
And so they will persist
To drive your life amiss
About a haircut.

Why can't they just shaddap
About your haircut?
You're ready to blow up
About your haircut.
Don't they know that it will grow?
And you don't need them to show,
What they think you oughta know
About your haircut.

Could they mind their own bee's wax
About your haircut?
Yes, you got beneath the ax
And got a haircut!
If you wanted a critique,
You would let the info leak.
Right now you're up a creek
You got a haircut.

You didn't know you had bad hair
Before your haircut.
Now you're getting stale hot air
About your haircut.
If it was so bad before,
Why can't they just ignore?
And not rag you any more
About your haircut.



Copyright 2009 Sheila Moss
 
 



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