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Meet the Columnist

Columnist, Sheila Moss, is humor writer from  Tennessee. She writes  a weekly human interest column about daily life and the funny things that happen to everyone.

   She has written for  the Daily News of Kingsport,   Griffin Journal, Oakridge Now, Atlanta Woman Magazine, Aberdeen Examiner, Angleton Advocate,  and Smyrna AM, a supplement of the Murfreesboro Daily News Journal. She has been published by Voyageur Press, McGraw Hill, and the good folks at Guidepost Books.  Her articles have appeared in numerous anthologies and other publications, both in print and online.

    She is a former board member and past  Editor of  the Columnists.com, website of  the National Society of Newspaper Columnists, the oldest and largest professional organization for columnists. She is the Web Editor of Southern
Humorists.com
  and  a founder of the Southern Humorists writers' organization. She is writer, editor, and webmaster of HumorColumnist.com

    To carry her weekly column in your newspaper, or to republish an article, please contact her. It's that easy. 

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I'm a Grinch....
 


I'm a Grinch

Some people handle Christmas well. They have cards addressed from their alphabetized list and sent out by the first of December. I consider sending cards the week before Christmas, but forget to buy them and can't find my list anyhow. So, I say it is too late and think maybe next year. That has been working for over 20 years. I only get cards from the dentist and plumber now.

I'm a Grinch

I keep the Christmas wrapping paper upstairs in the attic, but I noticed last time I was upstairs that the box has split and paper is rolling all over the attic. What a mess. People say that it is more fun if the gifts are wrapped and people get to anticipate and tear them open. In my case, wrapping paper went into storage when gift bags came into my life. Gift bags are the best invention that Santa ever made.

I'm a Grinch.

Christmas holidays seem to come closer and closer together as the years pass. Fortunately, my kids are getting older and like gift cards better than gifts. I can do all my shopping in about 10 minutes at the gift card rack in the supermarket or drug store. My most difficult decision is deciding which plastic picture I like best. For the few things I need to buy, I order online and let Goggle or Amazon do the walking.

I'm a Grinch,

My Christmas tree gets smaller and smaller each year. It now sets on a table and has lights built in. What I'm waiting for is one that also has the ornaments pre-attached and can open automatically like a pop-up umbrella, ready to use. Until then my tree will keep shrinking every year. By next year it may be gone entirely. At least I won't have to chase cats out of it and re-hang ornaments that they have scattered all over the house.

I'm a Grinch.

Christmas, like everything else, is for young people. My Christmas spirit has been spirited away, right up the chimney like Santa. I keep suffering through the hubbub and hullabaloo and manage to keep my sanity, or at least some of it. I would forget the entire thing and go skiing, except that I don't know how to ski.

I'm a Grinch.

Some say the commercialization of Christmas has ruined it. Too many houses decorated with lights and choreographed to music; too many stores playing Christmas carols in October; too many Christmas commercials on television; too many artificial Christmas trees with coordinated decorations; and too many television specials competing with Norman Rockwell and Currier and Ives.

I'm a Grinch.

Last year I put up a tiny Charlie Brown tree at the office that we found in the cubicle of someone who had moved on. I decorated it and located an extension cord for the lights. After crawling around under the desk looking for a plug, I realized the lights on the tree were battery operated. See what I mean? Even when I try to do the expected thing, it doesn't turn out right. Maybe we will find some C size batteries before Christmas. Maybe not.

I'm a Grinch.

The days of wondering what I'll get for Christmas are long gone. I don't care anymore whether I receive gifts or not. I have everything I really want or need. The best thing about Christmas is that hard candy that you can't get at any other time of the year, that and some time off work. A really great gift would be three extra days off work. This year I'm working between Christmas and New Year's.

I'm a Grinch.

All the planning and anticipation, all the getting ready, buying gifts, planning, all the work, and in a day -- it is all over. Whoosh! Time to clean up the mess, put it away, and be done with it until next October. I don't know which is more difficult, getting ready or cleaning up. And this is why I've decided that...

I'm a Grinch.


Copyright 2012 Sheila Moss
 
 



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