We had garlic for dinner tonight. My daughter has taken over
the kitchen and is perfecting her culinary skills by cooking the
evening meal. Ordinarily this is fine with me. Iím tired after
working all day and coming home to a good hot meal is a welcome
The problem is that she likes to use a pinch of garlic for
seasoning. She has become a bit heavy-handed with it in the past
- to the point that it became a family joke. The minute we
walked in the door, the garlic scent would hit us.
"See we are having spaghetti and garlic sauce for
She learned to lighten up a bit with the seasoning and all
was well Ė that is until tonight. It seems that she was going
to sneak in her usual pinch of garlic that no one would even
notice. But, as she sprinkled the garlic power out of itís
shaker, the lid fell off and, well, you can imagine the rest.
Did she throw out the entire dinner and say, "Letís
order a pizza tonight."? Of course not! She did what any
cook would do. She tried to remove as much of it as she could,
stirred the rest into the sauce and said nothing.
Of course, garlic is one mistake that is difficult to
conceal. Even if we could not smell it, we could see the waves
of fumes floating down the hall from the kitchen. Luckily, we do
not own a canary or it certainly would be dead.
"See we are having garlic sauce again tonight?"
Not wanting to offend the cook, since she might quit cooking
if we criticize her too much, we proceeded to attempt to eat it
anyway. Actually, it didnít taste nearly as bad as it smelled
and hardly peeled the wallpaper off at all except near the
stove. I think when we have the carpets cleaned, wash the
curtains and air out the house for a month or two, you will
hardly be able notice the garlic scent at all.
Julia Childs says you should never ever use garlic power,
only the real thing. Unfortunately, Julia Childs wasnít doing
the cooking. I can only wonder if she adopted this policy due to
the taste of fresh garlic or due to a garlic disaster such as
Now this is the part of the story where I get in trouble. All
the garlic lovers are going to write to proclaim the virtues of
garlic. "It kills bacteria, is good for colds, fights
cancer, improves male impotence, and cures sinus problems."
Garlic activists will fill my inbox with hate mail, and write
snide comments on their "cooking with garlic" bulletin
Okay, okay, I donít know whether it does all these things
or not, and I certainly donít want to get close enough to the
garlic enthusiasts to argue about it. We will just presume for
the sake of my sanity that they are correct.
Actually, though, I donít know if I want my sinus problems
fixed, at least not for a week or two until my eyes stop
watering. As for other cures, Iím just wondering what good it
would do a man if the aphrodisiac he used were garlic? No
woman's sinuses could be that bad!
Maybe it does kill bacteria, cure colds and such, but Iíd
just as soon not tie any around my neck, not to cure a cold or
even to ward off vampires. Iíll settle for alternative
treatments, thanks - unscented alternative treatments.
I know what they are going to say already. The scent of the
garlic can be removed leaving only the medicinal properties.
Somehow, I canít quite comprehend it. I have a feeling that
when the scent is removed a whole barrel of garlic scent remains
and only a tiny speck of unscented garlic is removed with
Besides, what good would it be? Julia Childs would most
certainly never touch unscented garlic!
Copyright 2006 Sheila Moss