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Meet the Columnist

Columnist, Sheila Moss, is humor writer from  Tennessee. She writes  a weekly human interest column about daily life and the funny things that happen to everyone.

   She has written for  the Daily News of Kingsport,   Griffin Journal, Oakridge Now, Atlanta Woman Magazine, Aberdeen Examiner, Angleton Advocate,  and Smyrna AM, a supplement of the Murfreesboro Daily News Journal. She has been published by Voyageur Press, McGraw Hill, and the good folks at Guidepost Books.  Her articles have appeared in numerous anthologies and other publications, both in print and online.

    She is a former board member and past  Editor of  the Columnists.com, website of  the National Society of Newspaper Columnists, the oldest and largest professional organization for columnists. She is the Web Editor of Southern
Humorists.com
  and  a founder of the Southern Humorists writers' organization. She is writer, editor, and webmaster of HumorColumnist.com

    To carry her weekly column in your newspaper, or to republish an article, please contact her. It's that easy. 

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Rest of the Story....
   

The Rest of the Story About Disney World

Driving in snow was not one of our planned activities, but while driving from Nashville to Orlando in January, it snowed on us in Atlanta. We thought we were going away from winter weather, not into it. The snow seemed to be trying to follow us.

The door frame on the car was lower than I am used to and I kept bumping my head when I would get in or out. Disneyland is billed as ďThe Place Where Dreams Come True,Ē but I hadnít intended to knock myself in the head to see.

There are a lot of orange trees in Central Florida. I thought they only grew in orange groves, where they are planted, but apparently they grow wild too -- either that or the birds planted a lot of seeds. I had the same idea about palm trees, but they are
native too, or at least some species are.

People keep asking me if I took my grandchildren to Disney World. It may seem a bit strange for adults to go to Disney World without children, but there actually are a lot of things for adults to do. In fact, both Disney and Universal have areas with night clubs that are geared towards adults instead of kids.

We wanted to get caricatures drawn while at Universal. My sister and brother in law didnít want one, so they decided they would wait for us in Pat OíBrienís, one of the clubs. After the pictures were finished, we joined them. It was a fun place and I would say more, but better to just say what happens in Pat OíBrienís stays at Pat OíBrienís.

The bill for souvenirs turned out to be a pretty good chunk of change. They sell these cute Disney character pins from kiosks all over the place. They encourage you to collect them; one or two isnít enough. The gift shops are a good place to wait, and all the rides end in one. Thatís why I bought so many pens and key chains -- at least thatís my story anyhow.

At one point, I decided to get a frozen margarita from one of the kiosks at Epcot and had to pay $9 for it. While I was drinking it, everyone decided to go on one of the few rides that were tame enough for me to ride. I was not allowed to take food with me, so everyone ended up standing around waiting for me to finish drinking it. No way was I throwing away a $9 drink! Later we decided to eat Mexican fast food. Never eat Mexican fast food after drinking a margarita as fast as you can and riding a ride.

We were lured into a timeshare presentation by promises of free food and discounted tickets. It isnít worth the aggravation, folks. I would give them food and cheap tickets to avoid sitting through it. Talk about high pressure sales tactics. After it was over, the ticket guy had two price lists, one for the suckers and one for the people that remembered what they were promised before the presentation.

Nobody we met there was a native of Florida. I suppose that it was because we were in the places where tourists go, places that natives avoid. My honey is obsessed with looking for people from Pennsylvania since he used to live there. It seems that there are a lot of people from Pennsylvania who move to Florida to get away from the cold weather.

We were tired and overslept the morning we were supposed to leave. Fortunately, I had packed the night before. After dragging all the suitcases and bags of souvenirs on the elevator and downstairs to the car, we realized too late that the place had luggage carts.

Orlando was a lot of fun and Iím ready to do it again Ė just as soon as I rest for about 10 years.


Copyright 2008 Sheila Moss
 
 



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