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Meet the Columnist

Columnist, Sheila Moss, is humor writer from  Tennessee. She writes  a weekly human interest column about daily life and the funny things that happen to everyone.

   She has written for  the Daily News of Kingsport,   Griffin Journal, Oakridge Now, Atlanta Woman Magazine, Aberdeen Examiner, Angleton Advocate,  and Smyrna AM, a supplement of the Murfreesboro Daily News Journal. She has been published by Voyageur Press, McGraw Hill, and the good folks at Guidepost Books.  Her articles have appeared in numerous anthologies and other publications, both in print and online.

    She is a former board member and past  Editor of  the Columnists.com, website of  the National Society of Newspaper Columnists, the oldest and largest professional organization for columnists. She is the Web Editor of Southern
Humorists.com
  and  a founder of the Southern Humorists writers' organization. She is writer, editor, and webmaster of HumorColumnist.com

    To carry her weekly column in your newspaper, or to republish an article, please contact her. It's that easy. 

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February Wary....
 


February Wary


Thanks goodness the month of February is almost over. It has been a clunker of a month. To be so small, February can sure be a horror. All the worst weather seems to hit in February. Hopefully, the month had its "last hurrah" when we woke up to a blanket of snow the other morning.

Snow at rush hour is enough to freeze the blood and create terror in the heart of any southerner. The best thing about snow around here is it seldom lasts very long. Yes, I used to live in the north and drive in it all the time. But Iím getting warm blooded like the rest of 'em now. A mild climate sure spoils you fast.

What kind of month is February anyhow with not enough days for a decent calendar page and then an extra one thrown in every four years just to confuse us more? Itís a month that is just destined to be a troublemaker Ė born with meanness written all over it. Most people canít even spell it right without using a dictionary.

At the beginning of the month, there is all that groundhog stuff Ė varmints predicting weather and how long the winter is going to last. Of course, something that silly would have to be in February. When else?

Besides that, we have not one, but two Presidentís birthdays in the same month. Two favorite sons should be enough to dignify any month Ė but it seems to be just a bit too much for most people to have two famous folks to celebrate so close together Ė overkill, if youíll pardon the expression.

Some people celebrate Presidentís Day to get it over with, but some stubbornly bake their cherry pie and celebrate on Washingtonís Birthday. He WAS the Father of our country, after all. Illinois totally refuses to conform and celebrates Lincolnís birthday, insisting he is from Illinois even though everyone knows he was born in Kentucky. Figure that one out.

Even though the short month is already overloaded with holidays, Valentineís Day also comes in February. That is convenient as it gives everyone the opportunity to use up all the red candles left over from Christmas, and also a chance to get romantic and cuddle since it is too dog-gone cold to do much else anyhow. What if Valentine came in August? It would totally ruin the mood Ė not to mention melting all the chocolate!

If you were born in February, please accept my sympathy. I was born in April, which the poet called "the cruelest month of all". But what do poets know? February is definitely raw, cold, bitter and more preferable with itís snow scene turned over backwards on the calendar. 

Happy Birthday to all you leap year babies who have no birthday this year thanks to February 29th coming only once every four years, another strike against this unpopular month.

Iím glad that March is finally here. The bulbs are practically vibrating the ground; they are getting so anxious to bloom. Frankly, Iíve never believed all that that stuff about March coming in like a lamb and going out like a lion. What would make lambs and lions any better predictors of weather than groundhogs?

Yes, February is finally over. Good riddance. Letís go fly a kite!


Copyright 2002 Sheila Moss
 
 



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