Moss, is humor writer from Tennessee. She writes a
weekly human interest column about daily life and the funny
things that happen to everyone.
She has written for the Daily News of Kingsport, Griffin Journal,
Oakridge Now, Atlanta Woman Magazine, Aberdeen Examiner, Angleton
Advocate, and Smyrna AM, a supplement of the Murfreesboro Daily News
Journal. She has been
published by Voyageur Press, McGraw Hill, and the good folks
at Guidepost Books. Her articles have appeared in
numerous anthologies and other publications, both in print and online.
She is a
former board member and past Editor of the Columnists.com, website of the National Society of Newspaper
oldest and largest professional organization
for columnists. She is the Web Editor of
Humorists.com and a founder of the Southern Humorists writers'
organization. She is writer, editor, and webmaster of HumorColumnist.com.
To carry her weekly column in your
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Online Since 1999
||Facts About Fathers....
- Never forget, if it wasnít for your
father, you wouldnít be here.
- No matter how old you are, you are still
a snotty-nose kid to your dad.
- Fathers donít get paid for a job well
done Ė unless you count their satisfaction.
- When a father says "no," he
really means, "ask your mother."
- What father says is law. But thatís
because kids are not old enough to vote yet.
- Your father knows more about you than you
think he does Ė but you can trust him not to tell.
- Fathers are perfect, problems are created
- If at first you donít succeed, ask your
father for a second chance.
- There may be several opinions, but dadís
is the only one that counts.
- When your father gets quiet, he is
planning Ė if he is snoring, the plan worked.
- Always agree with your father. Then
he cannot say "I told you so!"
- Never tell father he is wrong, it will
only irritate him.
- Never criticize your fatherís driving
unless you prefer walking.
- If you have your fatherís complete
approval, he is probably making a big mistake.
- You may fool mother but you canít fool
dad Ė he pulled the same stunts when he was a kid.
- You canít keep anything from your
father. If you can hide it, he can find it.
- Never argue with your dad. And if you do,
never think you will win.
- There is no such thing as a father
without radar Ė itís standard equipment.
- There are always exceptions to dadís
rules, but he is the one that decides what they are.
- Experience is something your father will
always have more of, and you cannot get enough of.
- Your father will forgive your mistakes,
but that doesnít mean you should repeat them.
- Fathers are the only judges that can
convict without evidence.
- If you have outgrown your need for
fatherly advice, be sure not to mention it to him.
- No matter what is broken, dad has a tool
that can fix it or render it unfixable.
- If dad does not have an answer, he will
pretend not hear the question.
- Fatherís memory is always better than
yours, especially when you borrow his tools.
- Father is the person that you can always call on - just
be sure to call at the right time.
- Dad owns the remote control, but you are
welcome to use the lawnmower.
Copyright 2004 Sheila Moss
Nashville, TN 37219
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