Moss, is humor writer from Tennessee. She writes a
weekly human interest column about daily life and the funny
things that happen to everyone.
She has written for the Daily News of Kingsport, Griffin Journal,
Oakridge Now, Atlanta Woman Magazine, Aberdeen Examiner, Angleton
Advocate, and Smyrna AM, a supplement of the Murfreesboro Daily News
Journal. She has been
published by Voyageur Press, McGraw Hill, and the good folks
at Guidepost Books. Her articles have appeared in
numerous anthologies and other publications, both in print and online.
She is a
former board member and past Editor of the Columnists.com, website of the National Society of Newspaper
oldest and largest professional organization
for columnists. She is the Web Editor of
Humorists.com and a founder of the Southern Humorists writers'
organization. She is writer, editor, and webmaster of HumorColumnist.com.
To carry her weekly column in your
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Online Since 1999
||Two Faces of Christmas....
Two Faces of Christmas
COOT: Keep an alphabetized list and address Christmas cards early
so they will be ready before you get busy. They can be mailed on the
first of December.
GRANNY GRINCH: I considered sending cards, but forgot to buy
them and don't keep a list anyhow. After a few years of this, I only
get cards from the dentist and plumber.
CHRISTMAS COOT: Buy Christmas wrapping paper after Christmas
when it is on sale. Store it in a plastic container so you can find it
when you need it. Nothing beats the fun of wrapping gifts in colorful
paper and placing a pretty bow on top.
GRANNY GRINCH: Are you kidding? Wrap gifts? Wrapping paper
became extinct when gift bags came into my life. Gift bags are the
best invention that Santa ever made.
CHRISTMAS COOT:Buy Christmas gifts all year long when you find
things on sale. Then you can enjoy the excitement of shopping for a
few items at the mall without being under pressure.
GRANNY GRINCH: Getting mauled at the mall in the Christmas
crunch is not my idea of fun. I order online and let Google and Amazon
do the walking.
CHRISTMAS COOT: Get the largest tree you can find and put it up
before Thanksgiving. Artificial trees can stay up longer.
GRANNY GRINCH: What I'm waiting for is a pre-lit tree that also
has the ornaments pre-attached and opens with a button, like an
umbrella. Until then my tree is getting smaller and smaller every
year. By next year it may be gone entirely.
CHRISTMAS COOT: Collectable ornaments make the Christmas tree
special. Try adding a few new ones each year. Or make your own and
personalize them. Vintage ornaments also bring back special memories
from previous holidays.
GRANNY GRINCH: Obviously you don't have a cat. I spend most of
the holiday chasing the cat out of the tree and picking up ornaments
that she has pulled off the tree and knocked under the furniture .
CHRISTMAS COOT: Play Christmas music and bake some cookies. To
really enjoy Christmas, you must get into the spirit and right mood.
GRANNY GRINCH: My Christmas spirit has been spirited away,
right up the chimney with Santa. I keep suffering though the hubbub
and hullabaloo and manage to keep my sanity, or at least some of it.
CHRISTMAS COOT: Drive around the neighborhood and look at the
outside light displays. Be sure to take the kids or grandkids.
GRANNY GRINCH: The commercialization of Christmas has ruined
it. Too many houses decorated with lights and choreographed with
music; too many stores playing Christmas carols in October; too many
Christmas commercials on television; and too many designer Christmas
trees with coordinated ornaments.
CHRISTMAS COOT: Give little hints about what you want for
Christmas so you will
be sure to get what you want. You can also make a wish list at places
Amazon, or just ask family and friends for gift cards for your
restaurant or department store.
GRANNY GRINCH: I don't want anything. I have everything I need.
The best thing
about Christmas is the Christmas candy. This year I'm giving myself a
great gift and taking off three extra days from work.
CHRISTMAS COOT: Think Norman Rockwell, and Currier and Ives.
Keep your finger
crossed and wish for snow. I LOVE Christmas! I only wish that the
season lasted longer.
GRANNY GRINCH: Think Grinch, and Scrooge. Snow would be the
last straw. All the
planning and anticipation, all the getting ready, buying gifts, all
and in a day -- it is over.
Can I take down the tree and let the cat out of the basement now?
Copyright 2011 Sheila Moss
Nashville, TN 37219
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